Prayer Rolls (continuously updated)
Unlike other Christians that I won’t name, our policy is to pray for lost souls, not to damn them to an eternity with the Beast of Hellfire. Whether a soul is damned is strictly between that soul and the God of Wisdom, so it is none of our business to do the damning. Since a tear rolls down the cheek of Jesus every time a lost Soul is lost, we beseech God and his Glorious Son through prayer so that The Son won’t cry so much from the sorrow of lost souls.
This section of our interweb will be continuously updated as we run across lost souls who are a looking for God’s help.
A prayer for the souls of the Baptists for Brownback
Dear God The Father of Love–These Good Christian white, but excessively judgmental People have become lost on the path to Your Way, and have come to be under the spell of the False Prophet Sen. Sam Brownback, who, for just one example, as President would allow a white woman to have an abortion if she was impregnated by a black man, or a Mexican. As horrible as that sounds, that in no way justifies killing an unborn baby boy or girl, even one who will have such a dark mark against him or her in our Culture. President Rep. Tom Tancredo would NEVER allow abortion UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER because he does not pretend to know YOUR PLAN. He just knows that when YOU mix protoplasm between a man and a woman that You are Accomplishing Your Great Mystery’s on this Earth and we do not have the Majesty of Your knowledge to know why!
A prayer for SEN. Sam Brownback
Dear God and His Brave Son Jesus–Please have mercy and love on the soul of Sen. Sam Brownback who, like the proverbial High Priest of Scripture, has Elevated himself to think he is the equal of You, or at least equal to a Great Prophet or an Apostle or something like that. Please give Sen. Sam Brownback your Loving Humilty by making him come in last in the Iowa Straw Polls, while elevating your humble servant Rep. Tom Tancredo to First in those very same polls. Help Sen. Sam Brownback see Your Light and Resign his campaign for the Presidential nomination by Christians, so that his support among his well-intended but misguided followers will be redirected to Rep. Tom Tancredo.
A prayer for the soul of PZ Meyers
Dear God of Enduring Love, The atheist evilutionist and liberal elite college professor PZ Meyers has lost The Way and says some of the MOST hateful things about Your Work on this Earth and Republic that it is easy to understand why good Christians would pray for the Absolute Damnation of his soul to an eternity in the Hellfire of the Beast. The darkness of his Soul must cause you at least as much pain as do the souls of Muslims and Jews. Dear God, please find in Your great Heart warmth to share in the heart of PZ Meyers, or otherwise, he will continue to perform the Demon’s Duty and steal other souls from you. And please make it difficult for the computers of children and teenagers to visit his many websites where he proclaims his Dark Message of despair and secularization so that their impressionable bodies and minds are not brought under his spell.
A Prayer for roopster
Dear God in Heaven, Please return America to its Glory, a time when Her humble Christians were a glory the whole world admired! Brother roopster longs for those days so much that he has lost Faith in your Goodness. A good start would include installing Rep. Tom Tancredo as President of the Republic of The United States of America Under God.
A prayer for the souls of companies that offer help in mexican language
Dear God of the Universe, I apologize for the rage in my heart, but I have decided that I cannot and will not do any further business with companies with automatic phone answering systems that offer callers a mexican language alternative when calling to inquire about their credit card balance, TV reception, cell phone minutes remaining, and so forth and so on. If YOU intended mexican to be the language of This Great Republic, I am sure in your wisdom you would have made our founding fathers speak the language or otherwise put it in the Constitution. But they did not. Therefore, we can assume you intended Americans to SPEAK ENGLISH.
I am sorry for the souls of all the companies who will lose money in this boycott, but most of those companies outsource these operations to places like China and India, and only employ buddhists and muslims who are stealing Christian American Jobs anyway.
And Dear Sweet God, please ask your Children to help me with this boycott when they pray to you tonight. You are So Gracious in Everything You do for Your Children!!
A prayer for Matt Sanchez, doing the Lord’s Work in Iraq
Dear God the Father of Heaven, Please protect the corporeal spirit and body of Matt Sanchez, who is on tour for Fox News in Iraq so he can Reveal Your Truth about the Surge and how well it is working. Mr Sanchez is also showing videos on the interwebs of his interactions with the indigenous people of the area. Especially heart warming is this video where he gives gifts to and interviews impoverished muslim boys. This heartwarming picture shows the boys as a metaphor for the spiritual poverty of islam and the magnificence of the Christian gift to them, represented by Mr. Sanchez. I pray that you warm the hearts of those muslim boys so they will accept Jesus and stay in their own country and not come to our Republic so they can help fix Iraq when Our Troops are gone and they grow up.
A Prayer for the Republic Faith Ministries
God of Holiness and Wonder! Thank you for prayers answered, for imbuing the humble and just Mrs. TD Gaines-Crockett and her Colleagues in Christ at Baptists for Brownback 2008 with Your Just Wisdom and Holy Knowledge. Because of Your Work, they have now rightly foresaken the Unholy Sen Sam Brownback. We marvel at how you peeled back the darkness that covered their eyes, so they could see him as a man of gay homosexual tendencies (eg, consortment with kilt wearers, fascination with Interstate Highway Rest Areas) and a papist and idolatrator. Thank you for showing Mrs TDG-C that Brownback could NOT properly lead this Great Dominion back to Your Glory. Thank you and your Son Jesus for your humble suffering by the actions of your Servants on this Earth.
A Prayer for the cast and crew of Midwest Teen Sex Show
Dear God of Revelation and Mystery, the cast and crew of Midwest Teen Sex Show have been beset by a Demon’s Trap, and are now using the Interwebs to promote Fornication Among the Young, in addition to acts of Grievous perversion and perversity. They seek to Reveal to 13 year old boys and girls the all of the many Mysteries of Your Human Flesh, beyond the bounds of Holy Matrimony. They even sacrilege your Holy House by suggesting it be used to Fornicate. They speak of Great Evils including Self-Fornication and Gay Homosexuality Behavior. Normally I would ask you to send the Holy Spirit to cleanse and chastise these lost souls, but my recommendation in this case is that you immediately and with extreme prejudice Ban them to the Fires of Hell.
A prayer for Evan at the Break the Terror interblog
Father of God in Heaven, Who gave this world Rep. Tom Tancredo just as You did Your very own suffering Son, Jesus the Christ, who in His time was a well-regarded heterosexual without even a hint of homosexual debauchary, and who was subjected to the Holiest of Rendition and Torture by the Jewish leaders and followers of his day, including agents of the Roman Empire acting at their behest, all so that our Souls could be with you for all Eternity, please keep a wary eye on Evan at the Break the Terror interblog, a self-styled mouthpiece of the Mainstream Homosexual Agenda. He not only may not be fit for membership in Your Eternal kingdom, he is strongly suspected of engaging in and advocating for the adoption of unsuspecting baby Christian boys and girls by homosexual couples.