Archive for the ‘Impenetrable Border Wall’ Category

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain’s proposed booty rules to combat Chinese hegemony

November 2, 2011

truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain describing ideal booty width to height ratios in a speech on how to outbreed the chinamen

In a major foreign policy speech delivered yesterday entirely without the aid of teleprompters, truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain for the first time revealed elements of his plans to deal with growing threats to the sanctity of our Dominion posed by the China menace.

Speeching before a spell-bound audience of unRacist Conservative Christian voters, truck stop Pizza Mogul said that “Anybody with common sense can understand that all we need to do to beat the Chinamen is to outgrow them.  Along with developing a greater nuclear weapon arsenal since they look to have some interest in acquiring nuclear weapons themselves.”

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain then went on, presenting an outline of his Proposals to deal with the Chinamen threat.

The first element of the plan is to grow the economy to a level that matches the chinaman economy, from 1.5 to 6.5.  This is an obvious and not a particularly new solution, except for the fact that it seems to have completely escaped the attention of the current administration that is destroying our economy with taxes and a smothering regulatory burden, headed by the elitist Usurper Kenyan and his Keynesian Kaliphate.

The second element of the plan is more bold and audacious and involves a two pronged approach to outgrow the chinaman population.

The first approach involves an airtight ban on the murdering of little baby unborn boys and girls that now goes on in our state-sponsored Planned Parenthood abortion mills.  Nobody ever saw a rancher grow his herd by murdering all of his unborn baby boy and girl calves, so it don’t make no sense to do it to our human progenies either!?!?!  NO MORE ABORTION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES because it is the Loving Christian thing to do, and because we are going to need all the progeny we can muster to defeat the chinaman.

The second approach is more t ambitious, but reveals the sort of completely fresh way of looking at difficult proplems that Conservative Christian voters are growing to admire about the token renegade negro.

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain calls it his Billion Baby Booty (BBB) solution:

“Right now, there is about 1 billion more chinamen then there is US Americans.  If we stop killing 500 million unborn baby boys and girls each year while simply doubling the number of unborn baby girls and boys that we set about to make, we’ll have caught up to the chinamen.  We can do it in one year!  What I learned running truck stop pizza shops is the way you sell more pizza is to stop throwing away half the pizzas you cook, and then cook twice as many more!  Common sense!”

When asked by narrow-minded liberal MSM reporters how he would convince more women to get pregnant, truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain had this to say:

“Our women, frankly, need to become more attractive to better provoke their men into the Relations Desire.  It is a scientific fact that we don’t produce enough US American babies these days because menfolk are tired after the come home from their hard jobs, and they become uninterested in sharing their seed with the womenfolk, especially if the womenfolk don’t have the Bedroom Eyes.  In part, this has to do with the scientific fact that our women folk need to be a lot more attractive for our menfolk.

My administration will derive new regulations for female attractiveness standards; things like weight, hairdo, makeup and dress standards.  For example, (holding his hands apart less then chest width) our regulations will call for a booty sizes no larger than just so, and will require women to hold special permits to have booty sizes just this big (holding his arms outstretched).  But these are not hard and fast rules (laughs), no pun intended. Although I don’t personally like mine too large, we understand that men differ in their Booty Predilections, and they will be able to obtain waiver affidavits if they prefer larger bitches, on a case-by-case basis.”

Responding to concerns about the effect of new job-killing regulations on the economy, truck stop Pizza Mogul indicated for every new job-killing regulation his administration imposes as part of the Billion Baby Booty campaign, they would roll back other regulations in compensation:

“For example, we would enact a federal ban of adultery laws on the basis of national emergency.  If we hope to catch up with the chinamen, we can’t have our menfolk who are doing their part by getting a little strange on the side to be worried that their wives back home might sue them for adultery.  Again, this is something that just makes common sense.”

Indeed, it does.

Although there is much to like about these Conservative Christian common sense solutions that truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain proposes, his candidacy still poses major problems for the Dominionist Party.  Most significant among these is his Heritage Problem.

Still, WE ARE NOT RACISTS and there is nothing to stop a Rep Tom Tancredo administration from adopting some of these solutions, whether or not credit is owed to truck stop Pizza Mogul for having the idea in the first place.

WOW!!!

November 1, 2010

Not that he needed xGov Mother xMama Grizz Sarah Palin’s vote of robocall confidence, but this should just about sew it up!

You betcha Rep Tom Tancredo will be tough on illegal immigration!!!

Dream Act Banditos: Obamas mercenary protectorate guard

September 23, 2010

An obviously gay homosexual Swiss Guardsman use demonic magic and subversive mind control methods to subdue and destroy papal enemies

As if stealing from playbooks written by Marx, Lenin and Hitler weren’t enough, it looks like the kenyan konstitutional usurper is going to steal another play, but this time from the  playbook of the papist’s pope.

What the illegitimate president Obama hopes to achieve through this theft is a template to create a military vanguard for his own personal use, the equivalent of a Hugo Chavezian protectorate!  An American band of mercenaries modeled upon “The Swiss Guard” who are beholden to Obama’s every whim and desire and evil machination.

Most Christians are not aware that the Chief Idolator, the pope, surrounds himself with a cult of elitist homosexual euro/demon-ninja concubines called “The Swiss Guard.”   “The Swiss Guard” are mercenaries, which proves to us their gay homosexual proclivities, who are handsomely compensated to protect the pope.

They do so by deploying a variety of cunning defensive and offensive capabilities, ranging from mastery of pagan hand-to-hand combat, to expertise in high caliber weapons marksmenship and mine field deployment, to cyberwarfare and an array of demonic-based mind-control tactics.

You might ask yourself, “All I did was ask the intergoogle to tell me about the DREAM Act, what does this have to do with the DREAM Act?”

The DREAM Act is a piece of hobama legislation principally designed to pander to the coloreds vote, especially the light brown coloreds, and to drive a wedge between them and common sense Christian American voters.  This is because the DREAM Act as a paved road towards US citizenship for illegal mexicans who have infiltrated our borders. Rather than round them up and ship them back in cattle cars to their own burn God Foresaken land, Obama plans to pass out US Citizenship to these criminals like Christmas Candy, which will make them his lifelong voters.

That is what they want you to believe.

What is hidden in the fine print is this: The DREAM Act will pass out a US American Citizenship Card willy nilly to any Juan, Pedro or Ricardo that wanders along, just as if they were free passes to the FFA carcass hog contest.  And the more evil and nefarious and criminally-minded Juan, Pedro or Ricardo, the better.

Because all that Juan, Pedro and Ricardo have to agree to do is to sign on to serve four year hitches as highly-paid mercenaries, loyal only to the usurper who is now occupying the White House, and to no other person or entity.  In exchange for citizenship, they agree to be programmed to bid his every wish and desire, from late night runs to round up K-street tramps and wenches for impromptu West Wing orgy festivals, to conducting cross-Potomac raids on the Pentagon, to engage in search and destroy skirmishes against our brave Armed Forces stationed there.

Obama will also order these Dream Act Banditos to round up and imprison those he suspects of seditious acts including all Christians, all Conservatives, and anybody known to be or to have supported Republican or Republican Tea PartyCandidates in deed or in thought.

The only way we can stop this from happening is to prevent the DREAM Act from becoming law, which means we MUST elect a Conservative Christian Congress, as they are the only people willing to stand up to the kenyan usurper and his nigerian cronies.

Just a Quick thought: Can Slavery solve our immigration crisis?

September 14, 2010

Screen depictions such as this of hard working, self-motivated slaves overstate their work ethic. Especially for mexicans.

The more I pray to God for Guidance about it, the more convinced I become that reinstituting slavery for mexicans can be the most effective deterrent weapon we have in our anti-immigration crisis arsenal.

Perhaps a better weapon than the effective border dog and border mine field programs instituted under the loving presidency of Gov Pres George W Bush.

You see, I have repeatedly asked the intergoogles the following question, and have yet to get an answer because there probably ain’t none:

What is the name of a single negro buck who snuck across our borders and into Our Dominion prior to when the 13th Amendment was passed?

Besides our Beautiful White Christian Women, the only thing that attracts the mexican to Our Dominion is compensated work. But nobody except God and I are thinking about what would happen if we didn’t compensate them?  Because they are lazy and shiftless, they certainly wouldn’t work as hard.

If we ever want this festering flood to ever stop, then what we need is for our government to get off the backs of the Free Enterprisers  and allow them to use mexican slaves in their small businesses as they see fit.

It seems to me that all we need is the political will to enslave illegal aliens.  Fortunately, we have several emerging leaders sweeping into government office who are sympathetic to they idea of using an effective slavery deterrent in the War on our Borders and that day is coming soon!

Press Release: Dominionists For Tancredo Drop Endorsement of Gov Mother Sarah Palin

September 9, 2010

Little Christian boys and girls everywhere are crying, fearing nobody can protect them now that Gov Mother "Mama Griz" Sarah Palin has appeased the islamacists.

In response to a Her recent interFacebook Press Release in which she expresses deep sympathy for the feelings of terror-loving islamacists, Dominionists for Tancredo/Palin 2012, 2016 at the latest hereby prayfully issues an Interblog Press Release declaring forthwith that Dominionists for Trancredo/Palin 2012, 2016 at the latest can no longer support, enourage, endorse, sustain, sanction, ratify, confirm, corroborate, substantiate, affirm, back up, plunk for, countenance, defend,  stand behind, stump for, sustain, certify, commend, champion, warrant, underwrite, give the green light to, or most significantly, bless the Candidacy of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin.

In her interFacebook press release, Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin acknowledges that Pentacostal Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove Church and Youth Outreach Ctr of Gainesville FL has the constitutional right to burn as many dang korans as he sees fit to get across His point that mooselums are not welcome on this planet.  But she then goes on to mercilessly persecute this Fine Servant of a Christian God as “insensitive”  and acting to show mooselums an “unnecessary provocation”.

Unnecessary?!  Unnecessary!!?  Hello!!  With the 9/11 holiday just around the corner and what with all of the celebrations that go along with it, these words by Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin raise serious doubst that she has actually been living on the same planet with the rest of us in this Christian Nation.  Maybe, it pains me to speculate, as libs have been warning us for a long time, just maybe remote Alaska is too far removed from mainstream US of A thinking on domestic terror and foreign terror issues and the root threats to our Christian Culture?

Is Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin saying that the destruction of the WTC by the islamacists horde nothing but an “unnecessary provocation”?  Is is merely “insensitive” that these people will now build a mooselum Victory mosque/bath house RIGHT ON TOP of this holy site of carnage all the while flaunting our own Beloved Constitution and an activist judiciary in front of our faces?  Apparently, Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin has lost the ability to distinguish between something that is a bald faced act of war and something that is merely insensitive.

The 9/11 attacks by the islamofascist stormtroopers were a nucleating moment for our Sarcred Christian culture of victimization.  For years and years we had been persecuted and humiliated by elements within our own society.  We had tried to warn people that our Christian Culture had been eroded from the fringes by atheistic secularists that force fed us satanic dogmas such as evolution, marxism and Keynesian socialistic elitism, while tearing down our Sacred icons including but not limited to displays of the 10 Commandments, Christmas manger scenes, and Holy Crosses, and even Jesus bumper stickers, just to name a few. But our warnings fell on deaf ears that grew more and more deaf as more liberal demoncrats took the reigns of Our Power from us.

Add to this the fact that American Christians have been mocked and humiliated for centuries by a inbred government culture of activist judges and demoncratic traitors and IRS-backed thiefs and homosexual exhibitionists.  As if all of these threats weren’t challenging enough, we have also had to repeatedly stand against an educational system hijacked by so-called ‘educated’ liberal elitists and an ACLU-backed culture of ivory tower exceptionalism, all of whom threaten the sanctity of the Constitution as an immutable document inspired by the Words of a Christian God.

But it finally took the 9/11 attacks to open the eyes of our Nation, which led to truthful speculation that God participated in the calamity in part due to outrage over the rapid gains in the homosexual culture that was sweeping our nation.   Therefore, we celebrate the 9/11 attacks as a Sacred Time because it unified Our Minds and shifted our focus to a common enemy….islam and the billions of islamofascists who pray to a violent false prophet and who don’t value their lives or families the way we Christians do.

The appeasement of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin threatens to roll back all of the gains we  made under Gen Pres George W Bush in terms of spreading Christian liberties throughout the world, yes, sometimes with the use of overwhelming and unmatched military power.  Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin appeasement weakens these gains, and our Defenses and emboldens our enemies to attack us again and again.

At a point in time such as this, our Border Security cannot be less than extremely tight.  Because you can count on the islamoterrorists to probe for weaknesses and attempt to conduct more missions of air sky extremeism.

At a point in time such as this, when a kenyan kaliphate has kaptured the Executive Branch of Government and is prepared to consolidate his control over our Armed Forces before declaring martial law using garrisons secretly staging in Manitoba, perhaps as early as this weekend, this capitulation of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin is the last thing we need.

I call for Fair and Balanced Fox News to drop her from their broadcasts as she represents an imminent real and dangerous threat to our National Security.  I call upon  the TSA and CIA to carefully monitor her travel activities and to conduct thorough, full body cavity searches each time she enters our Air Sky system.

She is NOT the Mama Griz we had prayed for God to deliver us.  Gov Jan Brewer, who is not kowtowing to threats and intimidation by the US Government, might be a better mama griz.  We should look into that.

Christians don’t discriminate what sacred texts we burn!

September 7, 2010

Sometimes there are so many perverted versions of a Bible it is more cost-effective to burn the entire church down.

Just like how they blew the euro-cartoon story completely out of proportion, you can count on the mooselums to over react when they hear a Christian Minister’s plan to celebrate 9/11 this year by burning the koran.

And of course the liberal mainstream media won’t do its job and dig deeper into the story.  They will typically make the Christian Minister out to be the bad guy, and they will have the mooselum as the persecuted.  Rouge elements within the kenyan kaliphates administration have already begun drumming up sympathy for the mooselums and rage against the Christians.  We’ll just have to wait for Fair and Balanced Fox News to get the story right, eventually.

Or you can read about it from an Award Winning Interblogger.

And here is the truth:  Christians who burn the koran are out there burning Bibles too.  All the time.  We don’t descriminate just against the koran.  Our policy is to burn any perverted sacred text, especially if it is known or suspected to be tainted by the Demon.

Obviously, nobody will not recognize that the koran fits that bill.

But not many others will realize that there are an aweful lot of perverted Bibles out there.  You see, nobody in their right mind would ever take the words of Shakespeare or the Founding Fathers and rewrite them, right?  We’d all look at somebody who did that and call them crazy.

Well, it is not just crazy to rewrite the Bible to, but it is also downright Diabolical and you would NOT be wrong to suspect that a rewritten Bible is the Craftwork of the Demon, because that is precisely how the Demon Erodes our Love of God.    By rewriting His Word!

And so we need to be very careful in protecting His word and in doing that we have to root out all unapproved and unChristian revisions of the Bible.

I not only support the burning of the koran, but I also support the burning of the following Bible versions (conveniently arranged by year of publication) since all are perversions of the King James Version.  And bear in mind, these are just the English versions.  Don’t get me started on foreign perversions of His Word:

1653 A Paraphrase, and Annotations Upon all the Books of the New Testament; Henry Hammond.
1657 The Dutch Annotations upon the whole Bible; Theodore Haak.
1685 New Testament with a paraphrase and notes; Richard Baxter.
1690 The Holy Bible; Samuel Clarke.
1703 Paraphrase and Commentary on the New Testament; Daniel Whitby.
1718 The New Testament; Cornelius Nary.
1724 The Common translation corrected, with a paraphrase and notes (NT); Edward Wells.
1729 The New Testament in Greek and English; Daniel Mace.
1730 Annotations on the New Testament of Jesus Christ; Robert Witham.
1730 The New Testament; William Webster.
1745 Primitive New Testament; William Whiston.
1752 Exposition of the New Testament in the form of a Paraphrase; John Guyse.
1755 Explanatory Notes on the New Testament; John Wesley.
1756 Family Expositor, or, a Paraphrase and Version of the New Testament; Philip Doddridge.
1761 An Interpretation of the New Testament; John Heylin.
1764 A new and literal translation of all the books of the Old and New Testament; Anthony Purver.
1764 The New Testament: carefully collated with the Greek, and corrected; Richard Wynne.
1765 A New Translation of the New Testament; Samuel Palmer.
1765 Explanatory Notes upon the Old Testament; John Wesley.
1768 A Liberal Translation of the New Testament; Edward Harwood.
1770 The New Testament or New Covenant of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; John Worsley.
1773 The Universal Family Bible; Henry Southwell.
1774 The Old Testament; Anselm Bayly.
1778 The Bible in Verse; John Fellows.
1791 A Translation of the New Testament; Gilbert Wakefield.
1795 A Translation of the New Testament from the original Greek; Thomas Haweis.
1795 The New Testament; Samuel Clarke and Thomas Pyle.
1796 The New Testament; William Newcome.
1798 A Translation of the New Testament from the Original Greek; Nathaniel Scarlett.
1799 A Revised Translation and Interpretation of the Sacred Scriptures; J.M. Ray.
1808 The Holy Bible containing The Old and New Covenant; Charles Thomson.
1808 The New Testament, in an improved version; Thomas Belsham.
1812 A modern, correct, and close translation of the New Testament; William Williams.
1816 The New Testament; William Thomson.
1817 A new family Bible, and improved version; Benjamin Boothroyd.
1822 The Holy Bible, Hebrew and English (OT); A. Alexander.
1823 The New Testament; Abner Kneeland.
1824 Revised Testament (NT); John Wilkins
1824 The Holy Bible; J. Watson.
1826 The Sacred Writings of the Apostles and Evangelists of Jesus Christ (NT); Alexander Campbell.
1828 The Gospel of God’s Anointed (NT); Alexander Greaves.
1828 The New Testament in the Common Version; John Palfrey.
1833 The Holy Bible; Noah Webster.
1833 A New and Corrected Version of the New Testament Rodolphus Dickinson.
1834 The Holy Bible; George Townsend.
1835 The Holy Writings of the First Christians (NT) J.M. Caldecott.
1836 The Book of the New Covenant (NT); Granville Penn.
1840 The New Testament; Edgar Taylor.
1841 The Holy Bible; J.T. Conquest.
1842 The Holy Bible; A.C Kendrick (NT).
1844 The Holy Bible, T J Hussey.
1844 The Septuagint version of the Old Testament; Lancelot Brenton.
1848 The New Testament; Jonathan Morgan.
1849 The New Testament; J.W. Etheridge.
1849 The Good News of Our Lord Jesus, the Anointed; Nathan Wbiting.
1850 The New Testament; Spencer Cone and William Wyckoff.
1851 The New Testament; James Murdock.
1852 An Exposition of the New Testament; Hezekiah Woo¬druff.
1853 The Twenty-Four Books of the Holy Scriptures (OT); Isaac Leeser.
1854 The Emphatic New Testament; John Taylor.
1857 The New Testament; John Bengel.
1857 The New Testament; J.A. Giles.
1858 The New Testament, Translated from the Original Greek; Leicester Sawyer
1858 The Old Testament Scriptures; Alexander Vance.
1860 The Holy Bible; Francis Kenrick.
1861 Jewish School and Family Bible (OT); A. Benisch.
1861 The New Testament; Leonard Thorn.
1862 The Holy Scriptures of the Old Covenant (OT).
1862 A Revised Translation of the New Testament; H. Highton.
1863 The Holy Bible; Robert Young.
1864 An English Version of the New Testament; Herman Heinfetter.
1864 American Bible Union Version (NT).
1864 The Emphatic Diaglott (NT); Benjamin Wilson.
1864 The New Testament; Henry Anderson.
1865 The Holy Bible; Samuel Sharpe.
1865 The Twofold New Testament; Thomas Green.
1867 The Holy Scriptures; Joseph Smith.
1869 The New Testament: Authorized Version Revised; Henry Alford.
1869 The New Testament; George Noyes.
1869 The New Testament; Robert Ainslie.
1870 The Holy Bible; F.W. Gotch (OT), GA. Jacob (NT).
1870 The New Testament translated from the purest Greek; J. Bowes.
1873 The School and Children’s Bible.
1873 The Story of the Bible; Charles Foster.
1875 The New Testament; John McClellan.
1875 The New Testament; Samuel Davidson.
1876 The Holy Bible; Julia Smith.
1877 Revised English Bible.
1877 The New Testament; John Richter.
1880 The Holy Bible (OT); Hermann Gollancz.
1881 Revised Version.
1881 Jewish Family Bible (OT); Michael Friedlander.
1881 The New Testament Englished; William Crickmer.
1883 The New Testament; Cortes Jackson.
1884 The Englishman’s Bible; Thomas Newberry.
1885 The Teaching and Acts of Jesus of Nazareth and His Apostles (NT); W.D. Dillard.
1885 The New Covenant (NT); John Hanson.
1885 A New Translation; John Darby.
1885 A translation of the Old Testament Scriptures from the original Hebrew; Helen Spurrell.
1893 Scriptures, Hebrew and Christian; John Peters and Edward Bartlett.
1892 Biblia Innocentium; John Mackail.
1897 The New Testament Emphasized; Horace Morrow.
1897 The New Dispensation (NT); Robert Weekes.
1898 American Revised Version.
1898 The Woman’s Bible.
1901 The Historical New Testament, James Moffatt.
1901 American Standard Version
1901 The Modem American Bible; Frank Ballentine
1902 Translation of the New Testament from the Original Greek; W.B. Godbey.
1902 The Testament of our Lord (NT); James Cooper and A.J. MacLean.
1902 Twentieth Century New Testament.
1902 The Emphasized Bible; Joseph Rotherham.
1903 The Holy Bible: Marginal Readings Adopted.
1903 The New Testament in Modern Speech; Richard Wey¬mouth.
1903 The Holy Bible in Modern English; Ferrar Fenton.
1904 The Corrected English New Testament; Samuel Lloyd.
1904 The New Testament Revised and Translated; Adolphus Worrell.
1906 The New Testament; Thomas Lindsay.
1907 The Modern Reader’s Bible; Richard Moulton.
1908 The Holy Bible for Daily Reading; J.W. Genders.
1909 The University New Testament; S. Townsend Weaver.
1909 The Shorter Bible.
1909 The Bible in Modem English (NT); Frank Ballentine
1910 The Restored New Testament; James Pryse.
1911 The 1911 Tercentenary Commemoration Bible.
1912 The Holy Bible: An Improved Edition.
1913 The Literary Man’s New Testament, W.L. Courtney.
1913 The New Testament; Edward Clarke.
1914 The New Covenant (NT); Edward Cunnington.
1914 The New Testament from the Greek text as established by Bible Numerics; Ivan Panin.
1916 The Historical Bible; Charles Kent.
1916 The Twenty-Four Books of the Old Testament; Alexander Harkavy.
1917 The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text (OT).
1918 The New Testament; Henry Anderson.
19l9 The Messages of the Bible; Frank Sanders and Charles Kent.
1919 The Adelphi New Testament; E.E. Cunnington.
1921 A Plain Translation of the New Testament; By a student.
1921 The Shorter Bible.
1922 The Children’s Bible; Henry Sherman and Charles Kent.
1922 A Plainer Bible (NT); Frank Ballentine.
1923 Simplified New Testament; D.A. Sommer.
1923 The Riverside New Testament; William Ballantine.
1924 Centenary Translation of the New Testament; Helen Montgomery.
1924 The Everyday Bible; Charles Sheldon.
1924 The Older Children’s Bible.
1924 The New Covenant: Labor Determinative Version (NT).
1925 The People’s New Covenant (NT); Arthur Overbury.
1926 The Holy Bible: A New Translation (NT); James Moffatt.
1926 Concordant Version (NT); A.E. Knoch.
1926 The Western New Testament; E.E. Cunningtan.
1927 The Student’s Old Testament; Charles Kent.
1928 The Student’s Greek Testament; A. Hamilton.
1928 The Christian’s Bible: New Testament; George LeFevre.
1928 The Living Bible; Bolton Hall.
1928 The Authentic Literature of Israel (CT); Elizabeth Czarnomska.
1928 The Cambridge Shorter Bible.
1929 The New Testament in blank verse; George Wolff
1929 A Homiletical and Exegetical Version of the Bible; Charles MacLean.
1931 The Complete Bible: An American Translation; J.M. Smith and Edgar Goodspeed.
1933 Short Bible; J.M. Smith and Edgar Goodspeed.
1934 The Documents of the New Testament; G.W. Wade.
1934 Old Testament in Colloquial English.
1934 The Child’s Story Bible; Catherine Vos.
1935 The Westminster Version of the Sacred Scriptures (NT)
1935 The New Testament; Fernand Faivre.
1936 The West China Union University Version (NT).
1936 The Aldine Bible: The New Testament; M.R. James and Delia Lyttelton.
1936 The Bible Designed to be Read as Living Literature; Ernest Bates.
1937 The New Testament in the Language of the People; Charles B. Williams.
1937 The New Testament of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; Francis Spencer.
1937 The New Testament critically reconstructed and retranslated; William Martin.
1937 The New Testament A New Translation and Explanation; Johannes Greber.
1938 The Book of Books (NT); R. Mercer Wilson.
1938 The New Testament: A Translation; Clementson.
1939 The Book of Life (NT); Zed Copp.
1939 The New Testament Shortened; W.K. Clarke.
1940 The Bible (A Condensed Version); Howard Welsch.
1941 The Confraternity Version (NT).
1945 New Testament: A Translation, Harmony and Annota¬tions; Erwin Stringfellow.
1946 Pathways through the Bible (OT); Mortimer Cohen.
1947 The New Testament; George Swann.
1948 The Holy Bible Adapted for Young Christians.
1948 The Letchworth Version in Modern English; T.F. Ford and RE. Ford.
1949 The Bible in Basic English.
1950 The New Testament of our Messiah and Saviour Yahshua, A.B. Traina.
1950 The Dartmouth Bible.
1950 The Holy Bible for Young Readers (NT); J.W. Mackail.
1951 The Authentic Version (NT).
1951 Bible in Brief; Peter Ross.
1951 The Shorter Oxford Bible.
1951 The New Testament in Modern English Olaf Norlie.
1952 The New Testament: A New Translation in Plain English. Charles K. Williams.
1952 Olive Pell Bible; Olive Bible.
1952 The Living Bible; Robert Ballou.
1952 Revised Standard Version.
1953 The New Testament: A New, Independent, Individual Translation; George Moore.
1954 The New Testament Rendered From the Original Greek; James Kleist and Joseph Lilly.
1954 The New Testament in Cadenced Form; Morton Bradley.
1954 The Septuagint Bible (OT); C.A. Muses.
1955 The Authentic New Testament; Hugh Schonfield.
1955 The Holy Bible: A Translation from the Latin Vulgate; Ronald Knox.
1955 The Compact Bible; Margaret Nicholson.
1955 The Clarified New Testament; P.G. Parker.
1956 The Bible for Family Reading; Joseph Gaer and Chester McCown.
1957 The Holy Bible from Ancient Manuscripts; George Lamsa.
1958 The New Testament of our Lord and Savior Jesus Anointed; James Tomanek.
1958 A Beginner’s Bible; Margherita Fanchiotti.
1958 The New Testament in Modern English; J.B. Phillips.
1958 The Self-Interpreting; Ashley Johnson.
1959 The Holy Bible: The Berkeley Version in Modern English; Gerrit Verkuyl.
1960 The Children’s King James Bible: New Testament; Jay Green.
1960 A Critical Emphatic Paraphrase of the New Testament; Vincent Roth.
1961 The New Testament of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; Fan Noli.
1961 New World Translation.
1961 The New Testament: An Expanded Translation; Kenneth Wuest.
1961 The Jesus People New Testament; Olaf Norlie.
1961 Simplified New Testament in Plain English; Olaf Norlie.
1962 Teen-age Version; Jay Green.
1962 Modem King James Version; Jay Green.
1962 The Children’s Version of the Holy Bible; Jay Green.
1963 The Holy Name Bible; A.B. Traina.
1963 The New Testament in the Language of Today; William Beck.
1965 The Amplified Bible.
1966 Jerusalem Bible.
1966 The Bible in Simplified English.
1966 The Living Scriptures; Jay Green.
1967 Bible for Young Christians (NT); AM. Cocaqnac and Rosemary Haughton.
1967 New World: The Heart of the New Testament in Plain English; Alan Dale.
1967 New Scofleld Reference Bible.
1967 The Christ Emphasis New Testament; Edward Craddock.
1969 The New Testament: A New Translation; William Barclay.
1969 The Children’s New Testament; Gleason Ledyard.
1969 Modern Language Bible; Gerrit Verkuyl.
1969 The Bible Reader.
1970 New American Bible.
1970 King James II Version; Jay Green.
1970 New Testament in Shorter Form.
1970 New English Bible.
1970 The Restoration of Original Sacred Name Bible.
1971 New American Standard Bible.
1971 The Living Bible; Kenneth Taylor.
1972 The New Testament in Modem English; J.B Phillips.
1972 The Bible in Living English; Steven Byington.
1973 A Child’s Bible; Anne Edwards and Shirley Steen.
1973 The Translator’s New Testament.
1973 Cotton Patch Version (NT); Clarence Jordan.
1973 Common Bible.
1973 The Better Version of the New Testament; Chester Estes.
1974 The New Testament in Everyday English; Do Klingen¬smith.
1975 The Word Made Fresh; Andrew Edington.
1976 An American Translation; William Beck.
1976 The Concise Jewish Bible (OT); Philip Birnbaum.
1976 Good News Bible.
1977 The Jerusalem Bible (OT); Harold Fisch.
1977 The Christian Counselor’s New Testament; Jay Adams.
1977 The Holy Bible for Children; Allan Johsmann.
1978 Holy Name Bible.
1978 New International Version.
1978 Simple English Bible (NT).
1979 The New Testament in Everyday English; Jay Adams.
1980 The Distilled Bible: New Testament; Roy Greenhill.
1981 The Sacred Scriptures.
1981 The Compact Bible (NT); Pat Excel.
1982 The Readers Digest Bible.
1982 The New Testament; Richard Lattimore.
1982 New King James Version.
1984 The New Accurate Translation (NT); Julian Anderson.
1985 Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures (OT).
1985 The Recovery Version (NT).
1985 New Jerusalem Bible.
1985 Original New Testament; Hugh Schonfield.
1986 International Children’s Bible.
1986 New Life Version; Gleason Ledyard.
1987 Easy to Read Version.
1987 A Literal Translation of the Bible; Jay Green.
1987 English Version for Deaf.
1987 New Century Version.
1988 Revised New Testament: New American Bible.
1988 New Evangelical Translation.
1988 Christian Community Bible.
1988 The New Testament; Hugo McCord
1989 God’s New Covenant (NT); Heinz Cassirer.
1989 New Revised Standard Version.
1989 Jewish New Testament; David Stern.
1989 Revised English Bible.
1990 The New Translation (NT).
1990 Simplified Living Bible.
1990 Modern King James Version; Jay Green.
1991 21st Century King James Version (NT).
1991 Contemporary English Version (NT).

1994 The Clear Word Bible (Jack J. Blanco) paraphrase
1994 21st Century King James Version
1995 Contemporary English Version (CEV)
1996 ArtScroll Tanakh
1996 New International Reader’s Version (NIrV )
1996 New International Version Inclusive Language Edition (NIVI)
1999 American King James Version (Michael Peter (Stone) Engelbrite)
2000 King James 2000 Version (KJ2000) (Robert A. Couric)
2001 Easy Reading Edition Sword Bible KJV
2001 Analytical-Literal Translation Modern English (Gary F. Zeolla)
2002 The Message (MSG) (Eugene H. Peterson) paraphrase
2003 The Evidence Bible, King James Version (Ray Comfort)
2004 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
2005 The New Cambridge Paragraph Bible with Apocrypha (David Norton)
2005 Today’s New International Version (TNIV)
2006 AV7 (New Authorized Version)
2007 Study New Testament for Lesbian,Gay’s,Bi, transgender (Ann Nyland)

If you have, or if you suspect that you have, any of the Bibles on this list, especially the last one, please bring it with you when you go to your Church this Saturday to watch the koran burning.

Would Jesus amend His Constitution?

August 16, 2010

Look very carefully to see photographic proof that Jesus inspired Our Founders and directed their pens

Serious Constitutional scholars, at least the only ones people should listen to, no longer debate the concept that the US Constitution is a living, breathing document Inspired by the Hand of God and his Son, baby Jesus.  These scholars now agree that our United States Dominion is a Christian nation because our Constitution was, if not written by God word for word, then certainly dictated by Him.  Are we a Christian Nation?  [looks cross-eyed] What a stupid question!

One doesn’t even need prayerful answers to that one.  Just look at world history in any book, even Secular Elitist world history and it will be as obvious as daylight:

At the time of our Founding, the rest of the world, Europe in particular, was sliding into the dark abyss in which it rests today, a cabal of socialist, communist-inspired governments ruled by atheist nazis and lice-infested royal families who ruthlessly taxed their subjects to redistribute their wealth to the poor, the lazy and the useless cripples of their society.  As such, it had become clear to Jesus that the Times called for a new safe haven for His people, who were being oppressed by the Shackles of Taxation.

Checking off his options by Looking towards other continents, He saw that Africa was not much different than it is today, populated by degenerate tribes of primitive negroes in the south, while roaming packs of cagey muslim thieves owned its north.  He saw Asia as a land infested with wild-eyed, incoherent nomadic mongols, whereas South America was crawling with peoples (I hesitate to call them even that, more like animals) of bizarre pagan cults who were so drug-addled from sucking on the leaves of toxic indigenous plants that they didn’t even realize they were naked all the time!  Since it was well known that Australia was no different then what it is today, a penal colony of euro-rapists, thieves, murderers and more horrifically even debt-welchers, Jesus didn’t even glance there when thinking about where to set up His Dominion.  Finally, he did not look to Antarctica, because at the time it was not clear Antarctica was even a continent.  Even to Jesus.

Thus, with essentially His only option remaining, He sought out Our Shores, its Good Christian People, and the brilliant Founding Fathers within to create a Christian Nation, His Kingdom upon His earth!

These are indisputable historical facts.

The question therefore always arises, “If Jesus wrote the Constitution, and the Constitution is His Words, and since His Words are immutable, than why in the blaze would He ever allow it to be Amended?”

Christians always get confused about this and ask, “Rev Hipple, why do we not treat the Constitution like we treat the Bible, as the Word of God, immutable, fixed for all eternity and inviolate?”

The best answer I can give to that is Jesus inspired Our Founders, and dictated certain sections of the Constitution so the Founders could write them down, but not all the words in the Constitution is the Word of God, per se.  Even though it is pretty darn close to it. So close, in fact, that Woe upon the sinner who does not consider the Constitution Sacred Text!

Still, Jesus let some of the words in the Constitution be Human Founding Father words rather than His words.  I believe the reason is that Jesus foresaw extremely serious problems and issues that our Founders could not fix at the time of our Constitutional Convention due to the political climate of the time.   This was complicated by the Fact that there was no other place in which to set up His Dominion.

Although all of the Founders were Christian, a few of them proved to be Faithless, with secular liberal tendencies and homosexual leanings.  Jesus knew what was in their Dark hearts.  Remember also, the atheistic euroenvironmentaloid culture had become extremely hostile ground for Christians, so Jesus was anxious to start up a New Dominion quickly, before it was too late, but not get blamed for it if it failed, which would tarnish His Omnipotent image.  I mean, Jesus knew even back than just how untrustworthy liberals and homos could be.  He placed His Faith and Trust in our Conservative Founding Fathers, like Thomas Jefferson, George Washington and others knowing that they would see to His plan.

Jesus, in His Infinite Wisdom, saw the early Problems of our Nation as issues that could not be solved quickly enough.  They were not so serious as to destroy us at the outset, but He also could see that they would fester and boil throughout the early history of our Dominion and potentially destroy us and His Dominion from within if there were not a mechanism to one day address these issues.

And therefore, He empowered us with the Miraculous gift of Constitutional Amendments to repair these dark and foreboding problems at a point in time when we were best prepared to do so.   There is no debate whatsoever that the most divisive problem that Our Founders left for a later day was the corrosive effects on Her people of allowing the production, distribution and consumption of alcohol and other intoxicating beverages.  But Jesus foresaw that His people would eventually muster the political will to deal with that issue, and thus we have the 18th Amendment to the Constitution which made Sacred not only His Day, but every other day, too.

Today, we have arrived at the darkest Day in our Dominion’s history since before Prohibition.  Our Great Nation is being destroyed not from within, but by an illegitimate, unconstitutional “leader” who is NOT A NATURAL US Citizen, whose main support, whose only support, comes not from the Citizens of the United States, but from millions of millions of illegal immigrants who were paid handsomely to vote fraudulently in the last election, and who operates with the financial backing of rich arab sheiks who are hell bent on world islamic hegemony.

So I ask you, at this point in history would Jesus amend His Constitution?

Is that some sort of stupid question?

Of course Jesus would amend His Constitution.  The only serious question remaining in this Darkest Moment in our History is what amendments to the Constitution would Jesus NOT amend to put an end to our Constitutional Crisis??  Trust me, the 14th Amendment is not our only problem right now.  Not by a long shot.  Jesus sees problems that need amendments to address several of our amendments including but not limited to the 1st, 4th, 5th-8th, 10, 13th-16th, 21st and 24th Amendments.

Jesus wants you to vote for Rep Tom Tancredo to be our next President so that Rep Tom will call a new Constitutional Convention to pass multiple amendments to the amendments and to get this finished with all due haste by not inviting no blame liberals.

Why is there an antiChrist but no antiMuhammed?

December 17, 2009

Hussein Obama, a muslim, is the antichrist of Christianity

When ever I get to preaching to the Youth Group from Daniel or Revelations, I oftentimes get this question: “Reverend Hipple, do those muslims have an antimuhammed the way we Christians have an antiChrist?”

The answer I always give is, “Son, why don’t just you and I go down to the basement rooms where we can be alone and I’ll explain why an antiMuhammed don’t make no burn sense.”

Jesus is the Handsome, peace-loving Messiah that God gives His people as a Gift of Love.  He is the Word of God, and who is beautiful and calm in all He is.  Jesus is Heaven on this earth.  Unimaginable beauty and the epitome of Love.

Therefore, the antichrist would have to be the polar opposite of Jesus.  And what is the polar opposite of Jesus?  Death, despair, destruction and an otherwise hollow existence bereft of any meaning or significance.

Sounds a lot like liberals and roaming packs of mexican rape squads, but it really is the Demon, isn’t it?  Exactly.

The antichrist is the Demon.  The antichrist is deceptive and tries to shave, dress and put on appearences as if he is the Chosen Son,  but The Elect among us can spot the Demon from a mile away.

In contrast,we know that the muslim religion is a false religion.  It is a religion of violence, destruction and world hegemony and unimaginable acts of desecration, perversion and perversity.  It is a religion that is bereft of any love or beauty whatsoever.

The first question I’d ask you is what purpose would be served by a religion that is already violent needing a violent antichrist?

And supposing it did, then it would have to be the polar opposite of everything that religion represents, and then what is the epitome of the polar opposite of this sort of depravity?

The Christian God, of course!

And is God the muslim antichrist?

What sort of stupid question is that!  Obviously, not.

Q.E.D.

Official Dominionist Church position on the African Homo Problem

December 11, 2009

African homo behavior date back to pre-industrial Cotton farming practices

Through the Miracle of Holy Night Time Visions, God has asked me as His Prophet to provide the Dominionist Church response to the controversial Ugandan laws that are designed to deal with the growing Ugandan homosexual menace:

Dominionists deplore and repudiate the victimization of peoples and believe that all human beings should be treated in a Christ-like way.

However, we recognize that homos and their diseases are a problem throughout the entire world, not just in America.  Furthermore, as a Sovereign nation, even though it may be a nation of negroes, Uganda has every right to govern itself and make whatever rules it determines are necessary to enjoy peace and prosperity, so long as such rules  do not render Uganda a haven for islamofacist jihadi terrorists.  Finally, to be Christ-like means to be Christ-like.  And Christ wasn’t no burn homo.  He was 100% Grade A normal heterosexual.

Neither the Dominionist Church nor God will have further say on this matter.  In particular, God has made up His mind and he respectfully asks that those of you who Pray to Him for Mercy for the Ugandan homos to please stop praying.  It won’t do them no good.

Republican Snowe: Traitor or just the Devil’s spawn?

October 14, 2009

We’ll find out soon enough.

The other day, Sen. Olympia Snowe of Maine broke ranks with Republicans and voted to pass the socialist Obamacare agenda, and with it, the largest government handout ever to lazy, shiftless negroes and the roaming packs of mexican rape squads who flow unchecked across our borders.

Wicked Witch of the West or Olympia Snowe?

Wicked Witch of the West or Olympia Snowe?

Olympia Snow or Wicked Witch of the West?

Olympia Snow or Wicked Witch of the West?

A careful intergooglerogatory of pictures and images conducted on this woman raises a very important question:  Is Olympia Snowe the Wicked Witch of the West, or were they just separated at birth?

As everybody knows, the Demon’s Witch is ice cold solid but she will melt if she comes into contact with liquid water or rock salt.

As such, I’m happy to report that conservative colleagues at Red State.Com are conducting a test.  If I understand this test, they ask all of us to send Sen. and suspected Witch Olympia Snowe a bag of rock salt.  Since Sen and Suspected Witch Snowe lives in Maine, which is frozen, the rock salt will melt her and it will also melt all the snow and ice around her, thus getting Senator and Suspected Witch Snowe wet with water, thus causing her to melt even faster.  Which will prove that she is a Witch AND which will take this RINO and enemy of God’s Dominion out from the Senate, stopping her from doing any more damage to this great country of ours.


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