Archive for the ‘Gun violence saves lives’ Category

Is using a teleprompter the last straw for truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain?

October 31, 2011

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain seen recently consorting with a teleprompter, raising serious questions about his commitment to Conservative Christian values

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain, who can’t seem to shake suspicions that he is an agent for a possible extrasolar alien life form intent upon seeking galactic hegemony, is the subject of some more new and damaging revelations this morning.

One of which is so shocking, and I will get to it last, its very nature renders his continued candidacy for President of Our Dominion in serious jeopardy.

One new issue of no great concern are reports that he was previously sued by a couple of his bitches former aides for sexual harassment during his highly successful tenure as a Washington DC fast food industry lobbyist and insider.

But experts agree that this should not hurt his candidacy because of the well-known proclivity of subordinate women in the workplace, especially in sanctuary cities like the nation’s capital, to incite Male Urgings by dressing like tramps and Jezebels so they can creat false and trumped up Charges for Profit.

How to spot these women is pretty easy.  They are well known for their inability to provide acceptable relations to their men at home, and frequently come from a culture of govt entitlement dependency, making them unreliable and untrustworthy witnesses in the extreme, no matter if they win their cases or not.

In second minor issue, we here at Dominionists for Tancredo, despite hours spent in deep Prayerful Diligence seeking Guidance from Our Lord, have not yet been able to Ascertain whether it is true that truck stop Pizza Mogul has sired a White child out of wedlock, as shocking widely circulated rumors seem to indicate.  So we will not comment on those rumors here, at this time, until we get more facts and additional Prayerful Guidance from Jesus.

Additionally, Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain has also recently confused Conservative Christian Voters by first claiming, then denying he ever claimed that as President he would promote the death of  little unborn baby boys and girls under certain Politically Correct circumstances, such is in cases of rape and incest.

Presumably after a Prayerful Moment with God and his staff, truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain has backtracked on this issue.  Irrespective,  he now holds a position that is perfectly coherent with Conservative Christian values, which is that God wants all of his babies to be born and has a Special Purpose for each.

For example, maybe God gives little unborn babies to rape and incest victims so that these ladies can experience the Joy of Sacred Forgiveness? Their babies need fathers in their lives, so God guides these woman to open their hearts to their attackers to create with them a stable, loving Christian home as a heterosexual  Husband and Wife.   Most pro-Abortionists simply fail to see this Wisdom.

In yet a third controversy, those of us who monitor the Conservative Christian credentials of our Candidates were recently forced to demand that truck stop Pizza Mogul retract his mistaken admonition that smoking cigarettes is not cool, after the Political Correctness Police controversy enveloped him upon release of his Award-Winning Campaign Ad.

We now know that the coolest thing in All of Creation is to be a Free American, one who enjoys ALL of our God-Given Jeffersonian Constitutional Rights and Freedoms.

We celebrate Cool American Freedoms in many ways, such as smoking as many cigarettes as we wish, wherever we wish; by carrying concealed handguns and shooting them how and when and at whom we please; by riding our motorcycles without helmets and driving our pickup trucks without seat belts; and finally, by mounting our women without condoms using whatever orifice is convenient in the moment.

It is not a flip-flop if you are tricked into saying you made a mistake by saying something you know your constituency doesn’t believe.  Conservative Christians have forgiven this transgression because truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain blurted out his unfortunately misguided admonition against smoking while trapped in a diabolical act of “Gotcha Journalism” treachery committed by a well-known MSM/liberal TV personality who for decades has been suspected of taking bribes to serve as a front line propagandist for the democrat Party.

But don’t get me wrong, we are NOT defending truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain.  We at Dominionists for Tancredo have made no secret of our skepticism over not only the candidacy of truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain (and all other candidates other than Rep Tom Tancredo), but even over his relationship to the Human Species.   We have never trusted that negro and in all probability we never will trust him.

In my Night Time visions last night, God instructed me to ask the google this morning about truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain’s use of certain visual aids during his speechifying.  What I awoke to find was more shocking and deeply disturbing than anything I have ever seen before or since.

What I found was clear and unequivocal evidence that truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain speechifies with the use of teleprompters!

Of all of his problems and controversies, this one will be his undoing.  Truck stop Pizza Mogul would have a good chance of wiggling himself out of any number of controversies.  He could survive, for example, proposing to raise taxes on the job creators, to increase the budget for the EPA, to enact new regulations designed to strangle our businesses, and so on.

But it should be clear to everybody by now that what this Dominion most does not need is another 4 years of yet another Uppity politician  who cannot speak for himself and can only get by from reading the words that others have written for him.

We KNOW Barry Soeterro Hussein Obama is FAKE not only because nobody credible will stand up and claim they saw his birth, and because of his use of a teleprompter to arrogantly spout the lies of his cabal of Sorosian handlers.

These days, if you want the Conservative Christian voter to vote for someone else, the best thing you can do is use a teleprompter.

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Great Moments in Deficit Reduction: Moving from an all-volunteer to an all-slave armed forces

November 6, 2010

Illegal mexican bandito immigrant smiles eagerly after being offered an opportunity to wage war against muslims

With their out-of-control spending, the demonrats have destroyed our Christian Way of Life.  Fortunately, we have just elected a Christian Conservative Congress in a nick of time, and the Salvation of our Dominion remains a possibility.

The first objective of these Sacred Congressmen is to achieve a balanced budget by enacting massive economy-stimulating tax cuts.  They will also need to make some very difficult budget cutting decisions.  The Christian Conservative Congress also needs to deal with the illegal immigrant menace that has polluted our Great Nation and threatens the sanctity of our Chaste Women Resources.

In my Holy Night Time Visions last night, God has informed me that He has just come up with a Perfect Solution: An All-Slave army.

Currently, the military personnel costs to our Dominion Taxpayers are over $250 billion dollars annually.  Beyond the obvious fact that Dominion Taxpayers know how to spend their own personal $250 billion dollars far better than the govt, what are we taxpayers actually getting for that expense?  Well, since we are only killing ~2000 muslims each year, each dead muslim is costing us anywhere between $50-$100 million.

To reduce the per muslim killed cost, we can either start killing more muslims (which is obviously what we all would prefer to achieve) or we can reduce our personnel costs.

Or we can do both, which is the beauty of God’s Slave Army Initiative!

So God proposes that we round up all the illegal aliens and make them our soldiers.  This would allow us to cut back dramatically on the personnel costs of keeping US Christian American soldiers in harms way and on the Department of Defense payroll, and allow them to retire and return to their loving, supportive Christian families with whom they can finish their lives sharing a peaceful and dignified agrarian existence to heal the wounds caused by the horrific muslim atrocities they witnessed in wartime.

The illegal immigrants who replace our Christian American Soldiers will be instructed on how to kill muslims, but will not be paid for their services because they are foreign criminals without Constitutional Rights and therefore have NO LIBERTIES to be deprived of.  Including the right to being paid a wage for their soldiering. And they will not mind not being paid for their services because they are motivated far more by mayhem and carnage than by economic aspirations.

But, and here is the beauty of God’s Plan, rather than running about our streets in roaming packs terrorizing peaceful Americans and eroding Our Christian Culture, they will be shipped over and let loose in muslim lands to practice their blood thirsty ways.  They will show no mercy BECAUSE their Souls are dark, empty wastelands bereft of any human decency, and will therefore prove to be far more effective muslim-killing machines than our great US Christian Soldiers, who as I already mentioned, are pretty darn good at $100 million per sheik head.

You might be asking, “But Rev Hipple, what will we do with all these illegal immigrant conscripts when the war is over?”

What a stupid question!  If our Conservative Christian Congress is who we think we elected, the War againsts muslims will never end!  And if they don’t understand that, we will keep on electing Conservative Christian Congresses until we get one that never ends the war.  Obviously!

This is a win-win-win net-net situation and I urge you to prayerfully ask God to show His new Christian Congress the Way.

 

What to accomplish in 1st 100 Days of Christian Conservative Congressional Mandate

November 2, 2010

Christians quietly gather to celebrate the Fall of Tyranny on the night of Nov 2, 2010 AD

  • No Compromises!
  • Preserve our Constitution by Rolling Back all Constitutional Amendments that are inconsistent with Jeffersonian Constitutionalism
  • Finish Southern border fortifications and initiate Effective Mine Field Deterrent program; send shots across the bow of all Canadian ships to remind them we have NOT forgotten about them, too.
  • Authorize the gitmoization of Enemies of the State, beginning with recently deposed democrat congress critters, and anybody affiliated with or suspected affiliators of MSNBC
  • Put the “J” back in Jesus by deporting all individuals who pronounce their name as, “Hey!  Zeus!!”
  • (Pass a Constitutional Amendment outlawing the use of any language other than American English in commerce and in schools)
  • Rehabilitate Gov Rep Tom Tancredo
  • Stop ALL wasteful govt spending
  • Impeach!!!
  • Round up, inter and deport ALL Illegal Aliens, including Anchor babies and let their govt, the UN, deal with the legal repercussions
  • No Compromises!!
  • Criminalize gay homosexuality
  • Stop all govt activity until Price Water House & Cooper can complete a full audit of every last govt program
  • Marbleize and then Enshrine the Bush Tax Cuts!
  • President Gov Ronald Reagan!!!
  • Spread shoot-to-kill orders throughout our borders and in all immigration services outposts
  • Accept islam as a Public Health Problem:  Establish the Muslim-Free Zone/Death Cult Control program based upon scientifically established immunization “herd protection” principles
  • Operate a limited, one time only “Amnesty for Libs” campaign—ha!ha! j/k!  lol!! rickrolled!!!!
  • Close all Universities and public radio stations that slurp from the troth of public govt handout welfare!
  • Immediately Unseparate the separation of Church and state to allow Common Sense prayers in schools!
  • Roll back tariffs on lubricants!
  • Have this ALL accomplished in time for the next Birthday of Little Baby Jesus
  • Outlaw evolution in all forms and disguises
  • Establish the Department of Social Media and install as its first Secretary xGov Mother Sarah Palin
  • Force Immigration Compliance by ending all Federal Tax subsidies paid out to sanctuary cities
  • Apply a full out nuclear-tipped missle surgical assault to end the Iranian Weapons of Mass Destruction program once and for all
  • Enforce Constitutional provisions that require Presidents of the USA to be Natural Born Citizens
  • Impeach!!!!!

How to spot a muslim

October 26, 2010

Muslim dressed in traditional muslim warrior garb

As I’m sure you all know, the intergoogles are all atwitter lately over how a  socialist marxist radio station that exists only to serve as the propaganda arm of the elitist demoncrat party (NPR)  yet depends 100% upon govt handouts for its operations has just FIRED an extremely reasonable (although racially flawed) member of the commentariat.

This persecuted commentarian was fired merely because he expressed a completely rational fear of being on a jet airliner plane when it is boarded by muslims flouting their muslimhoodedness by wearing traditional muslim clothing, smack in the faces of horrified Chrisitians and other innocent potential terror victims.

Commentariate Member and mexican/negro half breed Juan Williams, who plays a Reasonable Conservative Christian on the NPR, while at the same time playing a Persecuted liberal Token Negro (Teagro) on the Fair and Balanced FOX News, expressed these extremely thoughtful remarks in an interview:

But when I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous.”

Of course he gets nervous!  Muslim is more like a death cult than like a religion.  Muslims who expect to “meet Allah” at any second wear traditional muslim garb because they mistakenly think that will purify their souls and don’t realize that the only pathway to a Purified Soul is by accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.

Still, how would you feel if a member of a known death cult stepped onto an air jet liner moments before the door is closed, it pushes back from the gate and begins to taxi down the runway.  Typically, they closes their eyes and then begin to quietly whisper chants, asking their Demon to strengthen them before they push the button and blow up the whole lot!   It is perfectly natural to panic if you ever find yourself in such a situation.

But, unfortunately, things are much worse than this.  We now know that homicidal muslims  camouflage themselves in all manner of “normal” looking attire underneath their suicide vests, so as to blend in and not be noticed.

Fortunately, Conservative Christians throughout the intergoogles are now publishing helpful field guides that can be used to spot muslims.  We must all remain on high alert for these criminals, and continue to Pray for the Deliverance of Rep Tom Tancredo as our Elected President, who will protect us from muslims by slamming the borders tighter than a hermetically sealed pickled yam jar!

Dream Act Banditos: Obamas mercenary protectorate guard

September 23, 2010

An obviously gay homosexual Swiss Guardsman use demonic magic and subversive mind control methods to subdue and destroy papal enemies

As if stealing from playbooks written by Marx, Lenin and Hitler weren’t enough, it looks like the kenyan konstitutional usurper is going to steal another play, but this time from the  playbook of the papist’s pope.

What the illegitimate president Obama hopes to achieve through this theft is a template to create a military vanguard for his own personal use, the equivalent of a Hugo Chavezian protectorate!  An American band of mercenaries modeled upon “The Swiss Guard” who are beholden to Obama’s every whim and desire and evil machination.

Most Christians are not aware that the Chief Idolator, the pope, surrounds himself with a cult of elitist homosexual euro/demon-ninja concubines called “The Swiss Guard.”   “The Swiss Guard” are mercenaries, which proves to us their gay homosexual proclivities, who are handsomely compensated to protect the pope.

They do so by deploying a variety of cunning defensive and offensive capabilities, ranging from mastery of pagan hand-to-hand combat, to expertise in high caliber weapons marksmenship and mine field deployment, to cyberwarfare and an array of demonic-based mind-control tactics.

You might ask yourself, “All I did was ask the intergoogle to tell me about the DREAM Act, what does this have to do with the DREAM Act?”

The DREAM Act is a piece of hobama legislation principally designed to pander to the coloreds vote, especially the light brown coloreds, and to drive a wedge between them and common sense Christian American voters.  This is because the DREAM Act as a paved road towards US citizenship for illegal mexicans who have infiltrated our borders. Rather than round them up and ship them back in cattle cars to their own burn God Foresaken land, Obama plans to pass out US Citizenship to these criminals like Christmas Candy, which will make them his lifelong voters.

That is what they want you to believe.

What is hidden in the fine print is this: The DREAM Act will pass out a US American Citizenship Card willy nilly to any Juan, Pedro or Ricardo that wanders along, just as if they were free passes to the FFA carcass hog contest.  And the more evil and nefarious and criminally-minded Juan, Pedro or Ricardo, the better.

Because all that Juan, Pedro and Ricardo have to agree to do is to sign on to serve four year hitches as highly-paid mercenaries, loyal only to the usurper who is now occupying the White House, and to no other person or entity.  In exchange for citizenship, they agree to be programmed to bid his every wish and desire, from late night runs to round up K-street tramps and wenches for impromptu West Wing orgy festivals, to conducting cross-Potomac raids on the Pentagon, to engage in search and destroy skirmishes against our brave Armed Forces stationed there.

Obama will also order these Dream Act Banditos to round up and imprison those he suspects of seditious acts including all Christians, all Conservatives, and anybody known to be or to have supported Republican or Republican Tea PartyCandidates in deed or in thought.

The only way we can stop this from happening is to prevent the DREAM Act from becoming law, which means we MUST elect a Conservative Christian Congress, as they are the only people willing to stand up to the kenyan usurper and his nigerian cronies.

Press Release: Dominionists For Tancredo Drop Endorsement of Gov Mother Sarah Palin

September 9, 2010

Little Christian boys and girls everywhere are crying, fearing nobody can protect them now that Gov Mother "Mama Griz" Sarah Palin has appeased the islamacists.

In response to a Her recent interFacebook Press Release in which she expresses deep sympathy for the feelings of terror-loving islamacists, Dominionists for Tancredo/Palin 2012, 2016 at the latest hereby prayfully issues an Interblog Press Release declaring forthwith that Dominionists for Trancredo/Palin 2012, 2016 at the latest can no longer support, enourage, endorse, sustain, sanction, ratify, confirm, corroborate, substantiate, affirm, back up, plunk for, countenance, defend,  stand behind, stump for, sustain, certify, commend, champion, warrant, underwrite, give the green light to, or most significantly, bless the Candidacy of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin.

In her interFacebook press release, Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin acknowledges that Pentacostal Pastor Terry Jones of the Dove Church and Youth Outreach Ctr of Gainesville FL has the constitutional right to burn as many dang korans as he sees fit to get across His point that mooselums are not welcome on this planet.  But she then goes on to mercilessly persecute this Fine Servant of a Christian God as “insensitive”  and acting to show mooselums an “unnecessary provocation”.

Unnecessary?!  Unnecessary!!?  Hello!!  With the 9/11 holiday just around the corner and what with all of the celebrations that go along with it, these words by Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin raise serious doubst that she has actually been living on the same planet with the rest of us in this Christian Nation.  Maybe, it pains me to speculate, as libs have been warning us for a long time, just maybe remote Alaska is too far removed from mainstream US of A thinking on domestic terror and foreign terror issues and the root threats to our Christian Culture?

Is Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin saying that the destruction of the WTC by the islamacists horde nothing but an “unnecessary provocation”?  Is is merely “insensitive” that these people will now build a mooselum Victory mosque/bath house RIGHT ON TOP of this holy site of carnage all the while flaunting our own Beloved Constitution and an activist judiciary in front of our faces?  Apparently, Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin has lost the ability to distinguish between something that is a bald faced act of war and something that is merely insensitive.

The 9/11 attacks by the islamofascist stormtroopers were a nucleating moment for our Sarcred Christian culture of victimization.  For years and years we had been persecuted and humiliated by elements within our own society.  We had tried to warn people that our Christian Culture had been eroded from the fringes by atheistic secularists that force fed us satanic dogmas such as evolution, marxism and Keynesian socialistic elitism, while tearing down our Sacred icons including but not limited to displays of the 10 Commandments, Christmas manger scenes, and Holy Crosses, and even Jesus bumper stickers, just to name a few. But our warnings fell on deaf ears that grew more and more deaf as more liberal demoncrats took the reigns of Our Power from us.

Add to this the fact that American Christians have been mocked and humiliated for centuries by a inbred government culture of activist judges and demoncratic traitors and IRS-backed thiefs and homosexual exhibitionists.  As if all of these threats weren’t challenging enough, we have also had to repeatedly stand against an educational system hijacked by so-called ‘educated’ liberal elitists and an ACLU-backed culture of ivory tower exceptionalism, all of whom threaten the sanctity of the Constitution as an immutable document inspired by the Words of a Christian God.

But it finally took the 9/11 attacks to open the eyes of our Nation, which led to truthful speculation that God participated in the calamity in part due to outrage over the rapid gains in the homosexual culture that was sweeping our nation.   Therefore, we celebrate the 9/11 attacks as a Sacred Time because it unified Our Minds and shifted our focus to a common enemy….islam and the billions of islamofascists who pray to a violent false prophet and who don’t value their lives or families the way we Christians do.

The appeasement of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin threatens to roll back all of the gains we  made under Gen Pres George W Bush in terms of spreading Christian liberties throughout the world, yes, sometimes with the use of overwhelming and unmatched military power.  Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin appeasement weakens these gains, and our Defenses and emboldens our enemies to attack us again and again.

At a point in time such as this, our Border Security cannot be less than extremely tight.  Because you can count on the islamoterrorists to probe for weaknesses and attempt to conduct more missions of air sky extremeism.

At a point in time such as this, when a kenyan kaliphate has kaptured the Executive Branch of Government and is prepared to consolidate his control over our Armed Forces before declaring martial law using garrisons secretly staging in Manitoba, perhaps as early as this weekend, this capitulation of Gov Mother “Mama Griz” Sarah Palin is the last thing we need.

I call for Fair and Balanced Fox News to drop her from their broadcasts as she represents an imminent real and dangerous threat to our National Security.  I call upon  the TSA and CIA to carefully monitor her travel activities and to conduct thorough, full body cavity searches each time she enters our Air Sky system.

She is NOT the Mama Griz we had prayed for God to deliver us.  Gov Jan Brewer, who is not kowtowing to threats and intimidation by the US Government, might be a better mama griz.  We should look into that.

Christians don’t discriminate what sacred texts we burn!

September 7, 2010

Sometimes there are so many perverted versions of a Bible it is more cost-effective to burn the entire church down.

Just like how they blew the euro-cartoon story completely out of proportion, you can count on the mooselums to over react when they hear a Christian Minister’s plan to celebrate 9/11 this year by burning the koran.

And of course the liberal mainstream media won’t do its job and dig deeper into the story.  They will typically make the Christian Minister out to be the bad guy, and they will have the mooselum as the persecuted.  Rouge elements within the kenyan kaliphates administration have already begun drumming up sympathy for the mooselums and rage against the Christians.  We’ll just have to wait for Fair and Balanced Fox News to get the story right, eventually.

Or you can read about it from an Award Winning Interblogger.

And here is the truth:  Christians who burn the koran are out there burning Bibles too.  All the time.  We don’t descriminate just against the koran.  Our policy is to burn any perverted sacred text, especially if it is known or suspected to be tainted by the Demon.

Obviously, nobody will not recognize that the koran fits that bill.

But not many others will realize that there are an aweful lot of perverted Bibles out there.  You see, nobody in their right mind would ever take the words of Shakespeare or the Founding Fathers and rewrite them, right?  We’d all look at somebody who did that and call them crazy.

Well, it is not just crazy to rewrite the Bible to, but it is also downright Diabolical and you would NOT be wrong to suspect that a rewritten Bible is the Craftwork of the Demon, because that is precisely how the Demon Erodes our Love of God.    By rewriting His Word!

And so we need to be very careful in protecting His word and in doing that we have to root out all unapproved and unChristian revisions of the Bible.

I not only support the burning of the koran, but I also support the burning of the following Bible versions (conveniently arranged by year of publication) since all are perversions of the King James Version.  And bear in mind, these are just the English versions.  Don’t get me started on foreign perversions of His Word:

1653 A Paraphrase, and Annotations Upon all the Books of the New Testament; Henry Hammond.
1657 The Dutch Annotations upon the whole Bible; Theodore Haak.
1685 New Testament with a paraphrase and notes; Richard Baxter.
1690 The Holy Bible; Samuel Clarke.
1703 Paraphrase and Commentary on the New Testament; Daniel Whitby.
1718 The New Testament; Cornelius Nary.
1724 The Common translation corrected, with a paraphrase and notes (NT); Edward Wells.
1729 The New Testament in Greek and English; Daniel Mace.
1730 Annotations on the New Testament of Jesus Christ; Robert Witham.
1730 The New Testament; William Webster.
1745 Primitive New Testament; William Whiston.
1752 Exposition of the New Testament in the form of a Paraphrase; John Guyse.
1755 Explanatory Notes on the New Testament; John Wesley.
1756 Family Expositor, or, a Paraphrase and Version of the New Testament; Philip Doddridge.
1761 An Interpretation of the New Testament; John Heylin.
1764 A new and literal translation of all the books of the Old and New Testament; Anthony Purver.
1764 The New Testament: carefully collated with the Greek, and corrected; Richard Wynne.
1765 A New Translation of the New Testament; Samuel Palmer.
1765 Explanatory Notes upon the Old Testament; John Wesley.
1768 A Liberal Translation of the New Testament; Edward Harwood.
1770 The New Testament or New Covenant of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; John Worsley.
1773 The Universal Family Bible; Henry Southwell.
1774 The Old Testament; Anselm Bayly.
1778 The Bible in Verse; John Fellows.
1791 A Translation of the New Testament; Gilbert Wakefield.
1795 A Translation of the New Testament from the original Greek; Thomas Haweis.
1795 The New Testament; Samuel Clarke and Thomas Pyle.
1796 The New Testament; William Newcome.
1798 A Translation of the New Testament from the Original Greek; Nathaniel Scarlett.
1799 A Revised Translation and Interpretation of the Sacred Scriptures; J.M. Ray.
1808 The Holy Bible containing The Old and New Covenant; Charles Thomson.
1808 The New Testament, in an improved version; Thomas Belsham.
1812 A modern, correct, and close translation of the New Testament; William Williams.
1816 The New Testament; William Thomson.
1817 A new family Bible, and improved version; Benjamin Boothroyd.
1822 The Holy Bible, Hebrew and English (OT); A. Alexander.
1823 The New Testament; Abner Kneeland.
1824 Revised Testament (NT); John Wilkins
1824 The Holy Bible; J. Watson.
1826 The Sacred Writings of the Apostles and Evangelists of Jesus Christ (NT); Alexander Campbell.
1828 The Gospel of God’s Anointed (NT); Alexander Greaves.
1828 The New Testament in the Common Version; John Palfrey.
1833 The Holy Bible; Noah Webster.
1833 A New and Corrected Version of the New Testament Rodolphus Dickinson.
1834 The Holy Bible; George Townsend.
1835 The Holy Writings of the First Christians (NT) J.M. Caldecott.
1836 The Book of the New Covenant (NT); Granville Penn.
1840 The New Testament; Edgar Taylor.
1841 The Holy Bible; J.T. Conquest.
1842 The Holy Bible; A.C Kendrick (NT).
1844 The Holy Bible, T J Hussey.
1844 The Septuagint version of the Old Testament; Lancelot Brenton.
1848 The New Testament; Jonathan Morgan.
1849 The New Testament; J.W. Etheridge.
1849 The Good News of Our Lord Jesus, the Anointed; Nathan Wbiting.
1850 The New Testament; Spencer Cone and William Wyckoff.
1851 The New Testament; James Murdock.
1852 An Exposition of the New Testament; Hezekiah Woo¬druff.
1853 The Twenty-Four Books of the Holy Scriptures (OT); Isaac Leeser.
1854 The Emphatic New Testament; John Taylor.
1857 The New Testament; John Bengel.
1857 The New Testament; J.A. Giles.
1858 The New Testament, Translated from the Original Greek; Leicester Sawyer
1858 The Old Testament Scriptures; Alexander Vance.
1860 The Holy Bible; Francis Kenrick.
1861 Jewish School and Family Bible (OT); A. Benisch.
1861 The New Testament; Leonard Thorn.
1862 The Holy Scriptures of the Old Covenant (OT).
1862 A Revised Translation of the New Testament; H. Highton.
1863 The Holy Bible; Robert Young.
1864 An English Version of the New Testament; Herman Heinfetter.
1864 American Bible Union Version (NT).
1864 The Emphatic Diaglott (NT); Benjamin Wilson.
1864 The New Testament; Henry Anderson.
1865 The Holy Bible; Samuel Sharpe.
1865 The Twofold New Testament; Thomas Green.
1867 The Holy Scriptures; Joseph Smith.
1869 The New Testament: Authorized Version Revised; Henry Alford.
1869 The New Testament; George Noyes.
1869 The New Testament; Robert Ainslie.
1870 The Holy Bible; F.W. Gotch (OT), GA. Jacob (NT).
1870 The New Testament translated from the purest Greek; J. Bowes.
1873 The School and Children’s Bible.
1873 The Story of the Bible; Charles Foster.
1875 The New Testament; John McClellan.
1875 The New Testament; Samuel Davidson.
1876 The Holy Bible; Julia Smith.
1877 Revised English Bible.
1877 The New Testament; John Richter.
1880 The Holy Bible (OT); Hermann Gollancz.
1881 Revised Version.
1881 Jewish Family Bible (OT); Michael Friedlander.
1881 The New Testament Englished; William Crickmer.
1883 The New Testament; Cortes Jackson.
1884 The Englishman’s Bible; Thomas Newberry.
1885 The Teaching and Acts of Jesus of Nazareth and His Apostles (NT); W.D. Dillard.
1885 The New Covenant (NT); John Hanson.
1885 A New Translation; John Darby.
1885 A translation of the Old Testament Scriptures from the original Hebrew; Helen Spurrell.
1893 Scriptures, Hebrew and Christian; John Peters and Edward Bartlett.
1892 Biblia Innocentium; John Mackail.
1897 The New Testament Emphasized; Horace Morrow.
1897 The New Dispensation (NT); Robert Weekes.
1898 American Revised Version.
1898 The Woman’s Bible.
1901 The Historical New Testament, James Moffatt.
1901 American Standard Version
1901 The Modem American Bible; Frank Ballentine
1902 Translation of the New Testament from the Original Greek; W.B. Godbey.
1902 The Testament of our Lord (NT); James Cooper and A.J. MacLean.
1902 Twentieth Century New Testament.
1902 The Emphasized Bible; Joseph Rotherham.
1903 The Holy Bible: Marginal Readings Adopted.
1903 The New Testament in Modern Speech; Richard Wey¬mouth.
1903 The Holy Bible in Modern English; Ferrar Fenton.
1904 The Corrected English New Testament; Samuel Lloyd.
1904 The New Testament Revised and Translated; Adolphus Worrell.
1906 The New Testament; Thomas Lindsay.
1907 The Modern Reader’s Bible; Richard Moulton.
1908 The Holy Bible for Daily Reading; J.W. Genders.
1909 The University New Testament; S. Townsend Weaver.
1909 The Shorter Bible.
1909 The Bible in Modem English (NT); Frank Ballentine
1910 The Restored New Testament; James Pryse.
1911 The 1911 Tercentenary Commemoration Bible.
1912 The Holy Bible: An Improved Edition.
1913 The Literary Man’s New Testament, W.L. Courtney.
1913 The New Testament; Edward Clarke.
1914 The New Covenant (NT); Edward Cunnington.
1914 The New Testament from the Greek text as established by Bible Numerics; Ivan Panin.
1916 The Historical Bible; Charles Kent.
1916 The Twenty-Four Books of the Old Testament; Alexander Harkavy.
1917 The Holy Scriptures According to the Masoretic Text (OT).
1918 The New Testament; Henry Anderson.
19l9 The Messages of the Bible; Frank Sanders and Charles Kent.
1919 The Adelphi New Testament; E.E. Cunnington.
1921 A Plain Translation of the New Testament; By a student.
1921 The Shorter Bible.
1922 The Children’s Bible; Henry Sherman and Charles Kent.
1922 A Plainer Bible (NT); Frank Ballentine.
1923 Simplified New Testament; D.A. Sommer.
1923 The Riverside New Testament; William Ballantine.
1924 Centenary Translation of the New Testament; Helen Montgomery.
1924 The Everyday Bible; Charles Sheldon.
1924 The Older Children’s Bible.
1924 The New Covenant: Labor Determinative Version (NT).
1925 The People’s New Covenant (NT); Arthur Overbury.
1926 The Holy Bible: A New Translation (NT); James Moffatt.
1926 Concordant Version (NT); A.E. Knoch.
1926 The Western New Testament; E.E. Cunningtan.
1927 The Student’s Old Testament; Charles Kent.
1928 The Student’s Greek Testament; A. Hamilton.
1928 The Christian’s Bible: New Testament; George LeFevre.
1928 The Living Bible; Bolton Hall.
1928 The Authentic Literature of Israel (CT); Elizabeth Czarnomska.
1928 The Cambridge Shorter Bible.
1929 The New Testament in blank verse; George Wolff
1929 A Homiletical and Exegetical Version of the Bible; Charles MacLean.
1931 The Complete Bible: An American Translation; J.M. Smith and Edgar Goodspeed.
1933 Short Bible; J.M. Smith and Edgar Goodspeed.
1934 The Documents of the New Testament; G.W. Wade.
1934 Old Testament in Colloquial English.
1934 The Child’s Story Bible; Catherine Vos.
1935 The Westminster Version of the Sacred Scriptures (NT)
1935 The New Testament; Fernand Faivre.
1936 The West China Union University Version (NT).
1936 The Aldine Bible: The New Testament; M.R. James and Delia Lyttelton.
1936 The Bible Designed to be Read as Living Literature; Ernest Bates.
1937 The New Testament in the Language of the People; Charles B. Williams.
1937 The New Testament of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; Francis Spencer.
1937 The New Testament critically reconstructed and retranslated; William Martin.
1937 The New Testament A New Translation and Explanation; Johannes Greber.
1938 The Book of Books (NT); R. Mercer Wilson.
1938 The New Testament: A Translation; Clementson.
1939 The Book of Life (NT); Zed Copp.
1939 The New Testament Shortened; W.K. Clarke.
1940 The Bible (A Condensed Version); Howard Welsch.
1941 The Confraternity Version (NT).
1945 New Testament: A Translation, Harmony and Annota¬tions; Erwin Stringfellow.
1946 Pathways through the Bible (OT); Mortimer Cohen.
1947 The New Testament; George Swann.
1948 The Holy Bible Adapted for Young Christians.
1948 The Letchworth Version in Modern English; T.F. Ford and RE. Ford.
1949 The Bible in Basic English.
1950 The New Testament of our Messiah and Saviour Yahshua, A.B. Traina.
1950 The Dartmouth Bible.
1950 The Holy Bible for Young Readers (NT); J.W. Mackail.
1951 The Authentic Version (NT).
1951 Bible in Brief; Peter Ross.
1951 The Shorter Oxford Bible.
1951 The New Testament in Modern English Olaf Norlie.
1952 The New Testament: A New Translation in Plain English. Charles K. Williams.
1952 Olive Pell Bible; Olive Bible.
1952 The Living Bible; Robert Ballou.
1952 Revised Standard Version.
1953 The New Testament: A New, Independent, Individual Translation; George Moore.
1954 The New Testament Rendered From the Original Greek; James Kleist and Joseph Lilly.
1954 The New Testament in Cadenced Form; Morton Bradley.
1954 The Septuagint Bible (OT); C.A. Muses.
1955 The Authentic New Testament; Hugh Schonfield.
1955 The Holy Bible: A Translation from the Latin Vulgate; Ronald Knox.
1955 The Compact Bible; Margaret Nicholson.
1955 The Clarified New Testament; P.G. Parker.
1956 The Bible for Family Reading; Joseph Gaer and Chester McCown.
1957 The Holy Bible from Ancient Manuscripts; George Lamsa.
1958 The New Testament of our Lord and Savior Jesus Anointed; James Tomanek.
1958 A Beginner’s Bible; Margherita Fanchiotti.
1958 The New Testament in Modern English; J.B. Phillips.
1958 The Self-Interpreting; Ashley Johnson.
1959 The Holy Bible: The Berkeley Version in Modern English; Gerrit Verkuyl.
1960 The Children’s King James Bible: New Testament; Jay Green.
1960 A Critical Emphatic Paraphrase of the New Testament; Vincent Roth.
1961 The New Testament of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ; Fan Noli.
1961 New World Translation.
1961 The New Testament: An Expanded Translation; Kenneth Wuest.
1961 The Jesus People New Testament; Olaf Norlie.
1961 Simplified New Testament in Plain English; Olaf Norlie.
1962 Teen-age Version; Jay Green.
1962 Modem King James Version; Jay Green.
1962 The Children’s Version of the Holy Bible; Jay Green.
1963 The Holy Name Bible; A.B. Traina.
1963 The New Testament in the Language of Today; William Beck.
1965 The Amplified Bible.
1966 Jerusalem Bible.
1966 The Bible in Simplified English.
1966 The Living Scriptures; Jay Green.
1967 Bible for Young Christians (NT); AM. Cocaqnac and Rosemary Haughton.
1967 New World: The Heart of the New Testament in Plain English; Alan Dale.
1967 New Scofleld Reference Bible.
1967 The Christ Emphasis New Testament; Edward Craddock.
1969 The New Testament: A New Translation; William Barclay.
1969 The Children’s New Testament; Gleason Ledyard.
1969 Modern Language Bible; Gerrit Verkuyl.
1969 The Bible Reader.
1970 New American Bible.
1970 King James II Version; Jay Green.
1970 New Testament in Shorter Form.
1970 New English Bible.
1970 The Restoration of Original Sacred Name Bible.
1971 New American Standard Bible.
1971 The Living Bible; Kenneth Taylor.
1972 The New Testament in Modem English; J.B Phillips.
1972 The Bible in Living English; Steven Byington.
1973 A Child’s Bible; Anne Edwards and Shirley Steen.
1973 The Translator’s New Testament.
1973 Cotton Patch Version (NT); Clarence Jordan.
1973 Common Bible.
1973 The Better Version of the New Testament; Chester Estes.
1974 The New Testament in Everyday English; Do Klingen¬smith.
1975 The Word Made Fresh; Andrew Edington.
1976 An American Translation; William Beck.
1976 The Concise Jewish Bible (OT); Philip Birnbaum.
1976 Good News Bible.
1977 The Jerusalem Bible (OT); Harold Fisch.
1977 The Christian Counselor’s New Testament; Jay Adams.
1977 The Holy Bible for Children; Allan Johsmann.
1978 Holy Name Bible.
1978 New International Version.
1978 Simple English Bible (NT).
1979 The New Testament in Everyday English; Jay Adams.
1980 The Distilled Bible: New Testament; Roy Greenhill.
1981 The Sacred Scriptures.
1981 The Compact Bible (NT); Pat Excel.
1982 The Readers Digest Bible.
1982 The New Testament; Richard Lattimore.
1982 New King James Version.
1984 The New Accurate Translation (NT); Julian Anderson.
1985 Tanakh: The Holy Scriptures (OT).
1985 The Recovery Version (NT).
1985 New Jerusalem Bible.
1985 Original New Testament; Hugh Schonfield.
1986 International Children’s Bible.
1986 New Life Version; Gleason Ledyard.
1987 Easy to Read Version.
1987 A Literal Translation of the Bible; Jay Green.
1987 English Version for Deaf.
1987 New Century Version.
1988 Revised New Testament: New American Bible.
1988 New Evangelical Translation.
1988 Christian Community Bible.
1988 The New Testament; Hugo McCord
1989 God’s New Covenant (NT); Heinz Cassirer.
1989 New Revised Standard Version.
1989 Jewish New Testament; David Stern.
1989 Revised English Bible.
1990 The New Translation (NT).
1990 Simplified Living Bible.
1990 Modern King James Version; Jay Green.
1991 21st Century King James Version (NT).
1991 Contemporary English Version (NT).

1994 The Clear Word Bible (Jack J. Blanco) paraphrase
1994 21st Century King James Version
1995 Contemporary English Version (CEV)
1996 ArtScroll Tanakh
1996 New International Reader’s Version (NIrV )
1996 New International Version Inclusive Language Edition (NIVI)
1999 American King James Version (Michael Peter (Stone) Engelbrite)
2000 King James 2000 Version (KJ2000) (Robert A. Couric)
2001 Easy Reading Edition Sword Bible KJV
2001 Analytical-Literal Translation Modern English (Gary F. Zeolla)
2002 The Message (MSG) (Eugene H. Peterson) paraphrase
2003 The Evidence Bible, King James Version (Ray Comfort)
2004 Holman Christian Standard Bible (HCSB)
2005 The New Cambridge Paragraph Bible with Apocrypha (David Norton)
2005 Today’s New International Version (TNIV)
2006 AV7 (New Authorized Version)
2007 Study New Testament for Lesbian,Gay’s,Bi, transgender (Ann Nyland)

If you have, or if you suspect that you have, any of the Bibles on this list, especially the last one, please bring it with you when you go to your Church this Saturday to watch the koran burning.

If Doe tags work for deer they can work for Anchor Babies!

August 13, 2010

Principles of deer herd management should be applied to the Anchor Baby Crisis

Not to sound like some uppity elitist game mangment warden, but you can put me square in the camp of folk who are greatful for Wild Life Mangment practices that cull the deer herd by taking out some female does.   I have a lot of friends who don’t like it when they can’t bag a buck.  And I’d rather get one with a rack myself.

But even they got to admit that taking out the does has made it more fun to hunt the bucks, because taking out the does is keeping the entire deer population down lower, leaving more food for the  bucks who get a lot bigger and a big buck is a better looking buck on the tailgate!

I got to thinking about this when the other day God asked me to go to the intertubes where he had just inspired the lamestream media to finally publish some new information on the Anchor Baby Crisis.

To make a long story short, pregnant mexican females are NOT crossing the border illegally just before spitting out a new baby like we all thought they was doing, but are mostly slipping into our Dominion as unpregnant mexicans.  Then, they get to copulating and get pregnant once they are secretly in Our Dominion and then evading law enforcement just long enough to spit out an anchor baby!!  And they are outproducing White Christian Americans  at an alarming rate!

What does this have to do with the new methods of Wild Life Mangment that are designed to keep deer populations at a healthy low level?

Are you a stupid for asking such an obvious question?

First, what it says is that My Proposals to improve border sharpshooter training so they recognize the pregnant ones may help stem the flood a little bit, but it is probably NOT a good solution for the Anchor Baby Crisis. This DOES NOT mean I am backing off from the Border Sharpshooter Training initiative.  I’m just saying we need to add a new wrinkle to the solution.

Second, it means that if we are going to effectively cull the mexican herd that is already here violating  Our laws, stealing Our precious tax dollar resources, and using Our healthcare, then we need to initiate an Effective Mexican Herd Management initiative that involves selectively culling the female mexican from United States lands.

This may mean that we might have fewer resources to keep pressure on lowering the mexican buck population, and the roaming packs of mexican rape squads that ensue, but we can get back to them later.

It is time to start approaching the illegal mexican population as if it is a wild animal herd!  If we apply PROVEN methods of Wild Life mangment to the mexican does and bucks who are already across our border, then we might have a chance at dealing with the Anchor Baby Crisis.

Libs Mock Conservative Christians with Phallus-shaped Poll Results

August 12, 2010

Poll data on degenerate homosexual lifestyle manipulated into shape of unattractive Phallus

A cabal between elements of the elitist lamestream media, pollsters and poll respondents have conspired on a poll conducted about degenerate homosexual lifestyles to fix the results so that they form the shape of an engorged, fully erect male phallus, possibly of human origin.

And people wonder why we are disgusted by libs!

Why is there an antiChrist but no antiMuhammed?

December 17, 2009

Hussein Obama, a muslim, is the antichrist of Christianity

When ever I get to preaching to the Youth Group from Daniel or Revelations, I oftentimes get this question: “Reverend Hipple, do those muslims have an antimuhammed the way we Christians have an antiChrist?”

The answer I always give is, “Son, why don’t just you and I go down to the basement rooms where we can be alone and I’ll explain why an antiMuhammed don’t make no burn sense.”

Jesus is the Handsome, peace-loving Messiah that God gives His people as a Gift of Love.  He is the Word of God, and who is beautiful and calm in all He is.  Jesus is Heaven on this earth.  Unimaginable beauty and the epitome of Love.

Therefore, the antichrist would have to be the polar opposite of Jesus.  And what is the polar opposite of Jesus?  Death, despair, destruction and an otherwise hollow existence bereft of any meaning or significance.

Sounds a lot like liberals and roaming packs of mexican rape squads, but it really is the Demon, isn’t it?  Exactly.

The antichrist is the Demon.  The antichrist is deceptive and tries to shave, dress and put on appearences as if he is the Chosen Son,  but The Elect among us can spot the Demon from a mile away.

In contrast,we know that the muslim religion is a false religion.  It is a religion of violence, destruction and world hegemony and unimaginable acts of desecration, perversion and perversity.  It is a religion that is bereft of any love or beauty whatsoever.

The first question I’d ask you is what purpose would be served by a religion that is already violent needing a violent antichrist?

And supposing it did, then it would have to be the polar opposite of everything that religion represents, and then what is the epitome of the polar opposite of this sort of depravity?

The Christian God, of course!

And is God the muslim antichrist?

What sort of stupid question is that!  Obviously, not.

Q.E.D.


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