Great Moments in Deficit Reduction: Moving from an all-volunteer to an all-slave armed forces

Illegal mexican bandito immigrant smiles eagerly after being offered an opportunity to wage war against muslims

With their out-of-control spending, the demonrats have destroyed our Christian Way of Life.  Fortunately, we have just elected a Christian Conservative Congress in a nick of time, and the Salvation of our Dominion remains a possibility.

The first objective of these Sacred Congressmen is to achieve a balanced budget by enacting massive economy-stimulating tax cuts.  They will also need to make some very difficult budget cutting decisions.  The Christian Conservative Congress also needs to deal with the illegal immigrant menace that has polluted our Great Nation and threatens the sanctity of our Chaste Women Resources.

In my Holy Night Time Visions last night, God has informed me that He has just come up with a Perfect Solution: An All-Slave army.

Currently, the military personnel costs to our Dominion Taxpayers are over $250 billion dollars annually.  Beyond the obvious fact that Dominion Taxpayers know how to spend their own personal $250 billion dollars far better than the govt, what are we taxpayers actually getting for that expense?  Well, since we are only killing ~2000 muslims each year, each dead muslim is costing us anywhere between $50-$100 million.

To reduce the per muslim killed cost, we can either start killing more muslims (which is obviously what we all would prefer to achieve) or we can reduce our personnel costs.

Or we can do both, which is the beauty of God’s Slave Army Initiative!

So God proposes that we round up all the illegal aliens and make them our soldiers.  This would allow us to cut back dramatically on the personnel costs of keeping US Christian American soldiers in harms way and on the Department of Defense payroll, and allow them to retire and return to their loving, supportive Christian families with whom they can finish their lives sharing a peaceful and dignified agrarian existence to heal the wounds caused by the horrific muslim atrocities they witnessed in wartime.

The illegal immigrants who replace our Christian American Soldiers will be instructed on how to kill muslims, but will not be paid for their services because they are foreign criminals without Constitutional Rights and therefore have NO LIBERTIES to be deprived of.  Including the right to being paid a wage for their soldiering. And they will not mind not being paid for their services because they are motivated far more by mayhem and carnage than by economic aspirations.

But, and here is the beauty of God’s Plan, rather than running about our streets in roaming packs terrorizing peaceful Americans and eroding Our Christian Culture, they will be shipped over and let loose in muslim lands to practice their blood thirsty ways.  They will show no mercy BECAUSE their Souls are dark, empty wastelands bereft of any human decency, and will therefore prove to be far more effective muslim-killing machines than our great US Christian Soldiers, who as I already mentioned, are pretty darn good at $100 million per sheik head.

You might be asking, “But Rev Hipple, what will we do with all these illegal immigrant conscripts when the war is over?”

What a stupid question!  If our Conservative Christian Congress is who we think we elected, the War againsts muslims will never end!  And if they don’t understand that, we will keep on electing Conservative Christian Congresses until we get one that never ends the war.  Obviously!

This is a win-win-win net-net situation and I urge you to prayerfully ask God to show His new Christian Congress the Way.


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5 Responses to “Great Moments in Deficit Reduction: Moving from an all-volunteer to an all-slave armed forces”

  1. Bukko Canukko Says:

    One problem I see with this idea is that you’d have to teach the Meskinslavearmy English so they’d know what to do when they get kicked off the boat in Muzzyland. Another problem is that if you gave the Meskinslaves good ol’ Amerikkkan weapons, they might use ’em on Amerikkkan troops who were desporting them. And it would be a waste of our tax dollars to give weapons to wetbacks. I say let ’em go over with just the knives and zip guns they all carry.

    Also, what about a free-market solution to the $100 million per dead Mahometan cost-overrun? I’m thinking of a combination bounty/inverse auction system, where independent contractors — they’re NOT “mercenaries” or “hired guns” or “sadistic ghouls with a lust for murder” dammit! — submit bids for what reward they’d accept for each dead Allamaniac they bring in. (Proof of performance could be something like the scalps that were collected in Amerikkkan frontier days from savages who were squatting on the land that God’s Manifest Destiny gave to the White Man, although I think it would be kewler if our side cut off their swarthy faces and brought ’em in instead of that greasy back hair.) The brilliance of my plan is that contractors would try to out-bid each other with LOWER PRICES per head so they could get the deal, thus ensuring more dead Sharia-lovers at reduced expense to taxpayers.

    Heck, I’d go over and kill a bunch myself for only $1 million per cut-off face! Uh, except I’ve got this boil on my ass from an ingrown hair follicle, which makes it hard to sit for too long in an armoured vehicle. But otherwise I’d totally be there!

  2. Bukko Canukko Says:

    That should be “greasy BLACK hair”, not “back hair.” Although I bet a buncha them sand apes DO have hair all over their backs. Probably a holdover from when the Greeks ruled ’em and mated with the wimmenfolk of their race.

  3. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Dear Brother or Sister Bukko,

    Thank you for contributing to this important conversation on my award winning interblog!!

    Obviously you have put your finger squarely on the root issue: Since we cannot reduce Our National Investment in the War against Muslooms, the best way to reduce our cost per musloom dead is to get more dead muslooms!!

    I had in mind a goonad bounty program, but am warm to your proposal for Scalp Exchange incentivations to. Or some combination.

    GIL!!! PTL!!

    Award Winning Interblogger

    ps, if you squeeze that boil between two fingers it should pop right on out of there

  4. godforpres Says:

    I realize I’m a little late to join to the discussion here and I’m sure by now you’ve worked out all of the kinks but I feel compelled to raise some concerns……..
    Have we really considered what would happen if (god forbid) the blood of these mongrel races were to mix?  Would we be creating a race of super mongrels?  Imagine a creature with the sex drive and drug lust of a Mexican with the bomb making knowledge and camel familiarity of an Arab.  They both can already survive in the desert for days without food or water and they’re both pretty much the same color.  It’s best we answer these questions before it’s too late.  

  5. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. "Preacher Griz" Says:

    Brother or sister godforpress-

    Thank you for contributing to my award-winning interblog.

    You make an excellent point.

    I suppose we can hire up some of the veterinarians to perform one of those quicky fastechtomies on the conscripts about the same time we buzz their head hair off and tattoo an ID number on them.

    Award Winning Interblogger

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