With their out-of-control spending, the demonrats have destroyed our Christian Way of Life. Fortunately, we have just elected a Christian Conservative Congress in a nick of time, and the Salvation of our Dominion remains a possibility.
The first objective of these Sacred Congressmen is to achieve a balanced budget by enacting massive economy-stimulating tax cuts. They will also need to make some very difficult budget cutting decisions. The Christian Conservative Congress also needs to deal with the illegal immigrant menace that has polluted our Great Nation and threatens the sanctity of our Chaste Women Resources.
In my Holy Night Time Visions last night, God has informed me that He has just come up with a Perfect Solution: An All-Slave army.
Currently, the military personnel costs to our Dominion Taxpayers are over $250 billion dollars annually. Beyond the obvious fact that Dominion Taxpayers know how to spend their own personal $250 billion dollars far better than the govt, what are we taxpayers actually getting for that expense? Well, since we are only killing ~2000 muslims each year, each dead muslim is costing us anywhere between $50-$100 million.
To reduce the per muslim killed cost, we can either start killing more muslims (which is obviously what we all would prefer to achieve) or we can reduce our personnel costs.
Or we can do both, which is the beauty of God’s Slave Army Initiative!
So God proposes that we round up all the illegal aliens and make them our soldiers. This would allow us to cut back dramatically on the personnel costs of keeping US Christian American soldiers in harms way and on the Department of Defense payroll, and allow them to retire and return to their loving, supportive Christian families with whom they can finish their lives sharing a peaceful and dignified agrarian existence to heal the wounds caused by the horrific muslim atrocities they witnessed in wartime.
The illegal immigrants who replace our Christian American Soldiers will be instructed on how to kill muslims, but will not be paid for their services because they are foreign criminals without Constitutional Rights and therefore have NO LIBERTIES to be deprived of. Including the right to being paid a wage for their soldiering. And they will not mind not being paid for their services because they are motivated far more by mayhem and carnage than by economic aspirations.
But, and here is the beauty of God’s Plan, rather than running about our streets in roaming packs terrorizing peaceful Americans and eroding Our Christian Culture, they will be shipped over and let loose in muslim lands to practice their blood thirsty ways. They will show no mercy BECAUSE their Souls are dark, empty wastelands bereft of any human decency, and will therefore prove to be far more effective muslim-killing machines than our great US Christian Soldiers, who as I already mentioned, are pretty darn good at $100 million per sheik head.
You might be asking, “But Rev Hipple, what will we do with all these illegal immigrant conscripts when the war is over?”
What a stupid question! If our Conservative Christian Congress is who we think we elected, the War againsts muslims will never end! And if they don’t understand that, we will keep on electing Conservative Christian Congresses until we get one that never ends the war. Obviously!
This is a win-win-win net-net situation and I urge you to prayerfully ask God to show His new Christian Congress the Way.