Archive for September, 2008

Capt. POW Sen. John McCain single-handedly saves free-market capitalism from meltdown

September 25, 2008

Capt. POW Sen. John McCain flying back to Washington "incognito" disguised as Rep. Tom Tancredo

Capt. POW Sen. John McCain flying back to Washington, cleverly disguised as Rep. Tom Tancredo

Yesterday, God asked Capt. POW Sen. John McCain to make an extraordinary sacrifice for his country, to rush back to Washington DC from the campaign trail and save the Free (Christian) World from utter and complete destruction.

Today, Capt. POW Sen. John McCain delivered.

Under his leadership and economic brilliance, which Prayer sources tell me he could not have been more essential in the tough negotions with the dems, we now have a complete, comprehensive and effective financial Surge plan in place that will save The United States of America free market financial system, and all the investment bankers and their clients who have worked so diligently over the years to make it the envy of the world to such an extent, militant Islamic Jihadists seek to destroy it with their every wish.

Speaking of muslims, where was the Negro Hussein Obama during all of this?

Presumably en route back from his Ramadan pilgramage.

Antiabortionist Capt. POW Sen. John McCain to lead National Day of Economic Mourning

September 25, 2008

"I'd definitely hit that!!"  Capt. POW. Sen. McCain discussing newly hired (legal) home maid in Senate lunchroom during much needed break from tense, world saving negotiations.

"I'd hit it!" John McCain discussing newly hired house maid during break in key Senate economic deliberations.

In conservative (Christian) Republican circles, the selfless decision by Jesus the Christ to accept Torture and Rendition on the Holy Cross, is widely regarded as 2nd only to Capt. POW Sen. John McCain’s time spent in a North Vietnamese prison, as the single bravest act of Loving Christian Behavior in the History of Humanity.

Today, through the Miracle of Divine Night Time Visions, we learn that Capt. POW Sen. John McCain has outdone even himself, not to mention Jesus the Christ, by announcing his decision to suspend his righteous campaign for the Presidency of our Dominion. Except for lunch and bathroom breaks, He will use all of his free time during this suspension working to save, once again, All of Humanity, especially our God-fearing American Way of Life.

The candidate for the Negro Party, muslim Hussein Obama, his opponent in the race, will selfishly continue his own campaign, and pretend that the United States of America Dominion is not under grave and imminent threat.

Since when was it bad to say that an elitist muslim is uppity?

September 5, 2008

Because he doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about, the liberal Mainstream Media today forced a confused Georgia (Republican Christian) Congressman to issue a statement not apologizing for remarks that some bleeding heart liberals found insensitive.

Rep. Lynn Westmoreland (R-GA) was trapped into a conversation by a sneaky liberal reporter, to talk about some woman he barely even ever heard of before, named Michelle Obama, and was quoted to have said, “Just what little I’ve seen of her and Sen. [Hussein] Obama, is that they’re a member of an elitist class … that thinks that they’re uppity.

This completely innocent comment from a brave American Congressman, one who has served at great personal peril in our Holy Armed Forces, and is also so smart that he has a Notorized High School diploma from the Georgia State Department of Education, has raised a considerable furor throughout the intertubes.

The worst thing you can say about Rep. Lynn Westmoreland is that maybe he just got his hand caught in the cookie jar, like what happens to adulterers sometimes.  So over all it is no big deal so long as he accepts Jesus as his Personal Savior.  On this basis alone, I’m not going to join the chorus heaping unChristian persecution of this Great Christian man.

Some (Liberal) and obviously biased people have gone so far as to absurdly suggest that the term “uppity” bears pejorative racial connotations that were pervasive in the era of white supremacy, an era characterized by debilitating economic marginalization of former slaves and their descendants by the powerful white elite class.

Sounds like a bunch of political correctness made up by college professors, if you ask me.

There happen to be some obvious facts that are inconsistent with this preposterous theory, the most obvious and significant being the definition of uppity in the Websters Dictionary doesn’t mention a thing about it being a racially insensitive word.

The second most obvious fact is the word uppity doesn’t exist in the authoritative Racial Slur Database, which otherwise contains many other racially charged words beginning with the letter ‘U’ such as ubangi, Uncle Tom, and urkel.

It is worthwhile to point out the more recent Wikipedia list of ethnic slurs lacks any racially charged slurs beginning with the letter ‘U’, much less the word ‘uppity’.  But is otherwise very comprehensive, with words we hear around town almost on a daily basis such as ‘tar baby’, ‘urban turban’, ‘eight ball’, ‘coon’, ‘porch monkey’ and so on.  You’d think if there was any truth behind ‘uppity’ being a racist word, we’d see it in Wikipedia.

People say it is a part of our history, but they surely never taught us ‘uppity’ when I was a school boy.  I’d have remembered that.  What I do remember is that we had good Christian books in school, which by their very nature don’t contain any slur words.

And I have to tell you, from my own personal experiences, I don’t remember the last time, if ever, it was that I heard mention of an “uppity nigger’.

Sure, white people use the word ‘uppity’ to refer to other white people who are reaching beyond their station, such as science teachers and college professors and people who act like they know more than other people.  And none of these white people ever complain that they’ve been treated with a racial slur word when they find out they’ve been talked behind their backs.

The fact of the matter is, we freed the slaves right after the War of Northern Aggression like we was asked to do.  And we’ve gotten along just fine since then without having to spend all of our days trying to keep those lazy Negroes busy in the fields.

Or to keep them from wandering off when they was supposed to be teaching our children how to read, and what not, as was chronicled in the hit movie, Uncle Tom’s Cabin…a touching story about the very first private Negro schoolhouse in the south, where slaveowners would send their children to be educated by highly paid slave labor rather than at the public schools, which had become the domain of uppity atheist evolutionists.

But the most inconsistent aspect of this ridiculous and latest controversy of political correctness is that Sen. Hussein Obama isn’t even a Negro.

He is a blame Muslim!

It just ain’t no more racist to call a sand nigger ‘uppity’ than it is to call the ladies down at the golfer country club ‘uppity’.

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