Archive for April, 2008

On the Intruder Issue: A Modest Proposal for my Expelled Brothers

April 4, 2008

Tattoed holocaust survivorAs many of you know, the Heroic Christians who have produced the Award-Winning Documentary Expelled, starring Speechwriter, Actor, Columnist Ben Stein are having an extremely difficult time screening their Inspired Movie to Christian Audiences without the prying and disruptive eyes of sneaky Atheistic Darwinists crashing the party.

Expelled lays out in horrifying and chilling detail how Christian educators–those who simply advocate keeping an open mind in science classes regarding All scientific theories of on the Origins of Life, including unimpeachable Biblically Grounded Theories — are subjected to unChristian persecution by the liberal, secular, materialist, Atheistic, Darwinist Elitists who monopolize our educational system.

The movie also scientifically proves, for the first time, that the root blame for the Nazi holocaust in Europe can be laid at the feet of Mr. Charles Darwin himself, author of the largely discredited and scientifically ambiguous theory of Evolution.  This Proof has been verified scientifically by a series of peer-reviewed interbloggers.

Inexplicably, the Expelled Movie appears to have struck a chord in the Dark Hearts of Satanists. Several Notorious Satanists have been caught and arrested for either stealing Private Invitations to see the movie from unSuspecting Christians, or obtaining these very limited Invitations under false pretenses. They accomplish all of this by resorting to unspeakable acts of Treachery and Demonic Deception.

The net result is that these uninvited and unwanted provocateurs are disrupting a Holy Theatrical Christian Presentation designed exclusively to assist Select prayerful Christians who are already on the Pathway of Righteous Salvation leading to the End Times. This movie is not designed to persuade or in anyway influence atheistic satanists, who’s Eternal souls are already lost, well down the Hellfire express lane. Therefore, no purpose is served by allowing them to attend the movie, especially if it means that a good Christian will be unseated during the limited and Extremely Popular engagement.

Furthermore, Christian Souls are placed at great risk by the mere act of unwittingly sitting in a dark theater nearby a Dark-sided soul, such as that of an Atheist, Satanist or secular Biologist. Also, there are numerous reports coming in from the field that these uninvited characters are disrupting the screenings, by yelling out catcalls during objectionable scenes, arguing with the Discussion Leader, asking stupid questions, cursing, spitting, making loud farting sounds, and worst of all, refusing to turn their cell phones off.

The Producers of the movie are going to great lengths to identify these perpetrators before entering the theater to protect Invited Christians from these sorts of disturbances. They have quietly changed locations of the theaters and even screening time, hoping to not alert the evilutionists. But the Dark-sided flim flam continues to sneak through.

I prayed to the Lord before Bedtime last night, begging for Guidance on this issue. In my subsequent night time visions, He showed me all manner of horrific images that I just couldn’t understand, try as I might. It started with scenes of mexican rape squads, streaming over our border fences unimpeded–not a single Secure Land Mine blew up to stop their flood as they poured into our Sanctuary Cities. Then I saw horrific fires, a falling snow made of greasy milk flakes, and the silent screams of corpses stacked at the edges of a forest like cord wood.

Then I saw numbers. Random numbers, one after another.

Then God awoke me and I knew what to do.

God recommends that when handing out Invitations to Christians, the producers of Expelled also tattoo an identification number onto the forearms of these guests. When such individuals show up for a screening, they simply need to roll up their sleeve to be identified, and then can go grab some refreshments before having a seat and enjoy the movie.

All of the Atheists and Satanists attempting to sneak into the movie who have obtained an invitation by Deception and Perdition, won’t have this tattoo identification and can easily be turned away by the Pinkertons. We won’t have to waste our time interrogating them, checking easily falsified identifications, or listening to their Deceit and Treachery as they attempt to trick their way into the sitting area.

In one sense, it is unfortunate that our Dominion has come to this. In the absence of the sort of Leadership that only Rep. Tom Tancredo could provide as president it has become a place where it is easy to spot a Negro, an illegal alien, and most homosexuals. But, sadly, it is darn near impossible to spot the Good Christian (Republicans) anymore, and distinguish one of them from a Dark-sided secularist.


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