The intertubes are abuzz today with shocking and Disturbing reports of a close and dangerous brush between good, nuclear-family Christians and the Endtimes.
For a wholesome and more truthful Christian perspective, see here.
A group of God-fearing Minnesota Christians specially invited through the Word of God to Witness and Pray for the World Premier of a new and powerful Christian educational movie were shocked to discover that they had been locked in the same dark room with Atheism’s Black Pope, Richard Dawkins!
Expelled the Movie stars noted Jewish actor Ben Stein as a brilliantly understated Christian Intellectual performing a dramatic re-enactment of several instances when Christians were persecuted from the halls of academia simply because the held steadfast in Teaching the Truth, and doubting Darwinism.
But, back to last night in Minnesota.
In the Name of the Lord, I command all members of the Rev. Paul T. Hipple Ministries to Drop to their Prayerful Knees and beg God our Lord for the Salvation of these unfortunate Christian Brother’s and Sisters, whose Souls have been stained with the perversity and perversions of Godless Atheism, because they were trapped in the same room with Dawkins, a Messenger of the Demon. Unconfirmed reports also suggest that the spawn of noted Christ-denialist PZ Myers was in the room, too, and also certain Lesbians. That is a Tremendously toxic concentration of Dark-Sidedness for one small theater, spoiling the souls of any nearby Christian..possibly permanently unless Prayers of Mercy are immediately rendered.
The irony is not lost on us that today is Good Friday. We celebrate and glorify the Wonderful Moment, over 2000 years ago, when God’s Son, Jesus the Christ, was savagely beaten and willingly gave up His very life to the hands of his brutal Jewish torturers. By this selfless Act, He saved the Souls of only those Christians who accept Jesus the Christ as their personal friend and Savior.
The Demon typically wields his weapons of Perversity and Deception on God’s Holiest Holidays. So this isn’t too surprising.
Unfortunately, the blessings we receive from this greatest Selfless Act of All History do not automatically extend to include forgiveness for consorting with leaders of Atheist Movements, or with Lesbians, even if such consorting was completely unintentional in nature. God hates unintentional sin just as much as he hates intentional sin, baby murderer’s, roaming packs of mexican rape squads, etc and so forth.