The intertubes are abuzz with the announcement that Pastor Gov. Huckabee’s presidential campaign is low on funds and also low on reasons to exist and will shortly throw in the towel.
As campaign director Ed Rollins, a highly deluded but experienced political operative said, “it looks like The Lord has foresaken Pastor Huckabee and cast him adrift upon the Dark Waters. Woe is me!”
Sure enough, in my Night Time visions last night, Jesus the Christ Himself appeared to tell me that He is endorsing Rep. Tom Tancredo for President, saying that the inherently obese but temporarily slim Pastor Gov. Huckabee, shown in the picture at left, was “full of himself” for having assumed that he’d earn the Jesus Endorsement Prize just because he was a Christian Pastor.
Jesus My Lord said to me, “I’d have to say what most impressed me about Future president Rep. Tom Tancredo, is his ‘Put the ‘J’ back in Jesus‘ immigration policy. Our Dominion needs to close its borders to all but legal immigrants, and to round up all the mexicans who’ve slipped in because we haven’t enforced the laws. Besides, how would you like it if an entire race of ugly brown people stole your name and then mispronounced it?”
Obviously, Jesus was referring to the common sacrilegious practice of mexicans to use his name in vain by naming their children ‘Jesus’ and then completely butchering the pronunciation as ‘Hey, Zeus!’.
Jesus went on to say, “Trust me, I know this Pastor Gov. Mike Huckabee character. He bothers me constantly with his whimpy pleading. You don’t want him as president of My Dominion. I need a mortal partner I can accomplish Great Deeds with, and future President Rep. Tom Tancredo is that partner.”