Rep. Tom Tancredo on Apostasy, the NFL and the Superbowl

In my Blessed Visions last night, God revealed to me Rep. Tom Tancredo’s thoughts on the greatest threats to Our Dominion.

God revealed to me that Rep. Tom Tancredo believes the most serious threat we face is unchecked illegal immigration, especially of mexicans, which leads to bilingualization and cultural mongrelization.

Rep. Tom Tancredo has proposed a 3 pronged solution to this particular problem which involves: 1) planting land mines on the border, 2) using immigrant labor as a no-cost means of building a durable, impenetrable border fence, 3) trading all of our liberal Sanctuary Cities in the US to Canada for Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Hamilton, Toronto, Vancouver, Saskatoon and an option on an urban center to be named later.

The second major threat Rep. Tom Tancredo believes we are faced with is a growing awareness, what with fast moving events in Israel and the rest of the Middle East, that the Seven Year Tribulation may very well come entirely upon his watch as President of the Dominion. As such, it will be his Imperative to provide forceful leadership to move Our Dominion from its present state of Apostasy so that American (Republican) Christians can and will experience the Joy of Salvation.

God told me that what most concerns Rep. Tom Tancredo is the NFL and the Superbowl, heathen abominations that desecrate his Holy Day, what with their NFL Cheerleaders who dress and look as if they are the drunken Harlot of Babylon on a bareback joy ride of the Beast of Satan!!


But Rep. Tom Tancredo, the brilliant politician that he is, realizes that the political cost of simply shutting down the NFL would be extremely high, especially in areas of the Dominion that do not have excellent professional football programs to fall back upon, such as those of us who live in the SEC region.

Therefore, Rep. Tom Tancredo will simultaneously solve the Immigration problem and the Tribulation Problem by making sure that when we trade our Sanctuary Cities to Canada, all of which coincidentally happen to towns with NFL franchises, that we will also acquire the rights to each of the Canadian Football League franchises, which play their games on Saturdays and do not have a Sunday Superbowl.

The fact that the mainstream media continues to fail to report these ingenious solutions offered by Rep. Tom Tancredo to solve our Dominion’s most vexing problems is further proof that they operate out of the pocket of Satan.


6 Responses to “Rep. Tom Tancredo on Apostasy, the NFL and the Superbowl”

  1. Abdul O'Malley Says:

    Rev Hipple,

    Could you please give us your thoughts on our supposely Godly President Bush meeting with this stalinist Dali Lamma yesterday? Today he is sprouting off all this “China should talk to Dali Lamma” nonsense. If you ask me, these are all foreigners who need to be converted to American English and Christianity, or bombed. Certainly not talked to. Last week the First Lady was offering her concerns regarding the Monks in Burma. Excuse me, but I’ve seen enough Kung Fu movies to know a Ninja Death Cult when I see it.

    Where does Rep Tom stand on Tibet and China? Will he stop these commies from forcing our children to play with lead encrusted toys?

    Thank you and bless you..

  2. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother O’Malley-
    I’ll Pray to God at noontime Supper today and ask about that.

    Thanks for the tip


    ps. Are there any group tour packages to your country available for Christian Youth Ministry Groups? Just curious.

  3. Abdul O'Malley Says:

    Sadly, Brother Hipple, the dominant religion in my country is the Albanian Orthodox Church. The only evangelicals are a small gathering of snake handlers in Grigoosk, who sorrowfully must keep a low profile to avoid the attention of the government.

    We pray for Rep Tom to be elected president of the world, however, as we would certainly greet America as liberators to share in our vast national resources (which consist of 3 trillion cubic meters of the kind of clay used to make cat litter).

    Thanks for your kind thoughts,

  4. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother Abdul-

    Let me preface my remarks by confessing how difficult I find it to say ‘Brother’ to anyone named Abdul, but I find comfort knowing the Lord would never ask me to do something that He thinks is too much for me.

    I had an unprecedented noon time vision today and was not able to get to the “China Question”, but hope to do so soon.


  5. Abdul O'Malley Says:

    Brother Hipple,

    I thank you so much for posting the “Self Control Exercise” under the Youth Ministries section of your internet. It was sad indeed to see page after page of these scantily clad cheerleaders – I could only think about the misfortunes that would bring these apparently upstanding young women to prance about in front of 80,000 screaming fans wearing little more than a pair of go-go boots.

    Indeed, my study of the situation consumed many hours – I lost track of time in fact. I have decided this phenomenon deserves further study – in fact, a LOT of further study.

    Thank you for bringing it to our attention,

    Brother O’Malley

  6. BurgerMeister Says:

    Brother O’Malley –

    If you have trouble finding the time for further study on this perversion, perhaps it would be more convenient to have their magazine delivered:

    Best of luck with your research.

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