Mitt Romney: “I am an illegal alien from mexico”

Anybody who Proclaims surprise at the overwhelming evidence that Mitt Romney is an illegal alien has not been paying attention. There were Signs everywhere, beginning with his mexican gangster-style haircut. And its about time the mainstream media finally got around to letting everyone in on their secret.

Rep. Tom Tancredo has already begun deportation proceedings.

If this doesn’t harden you against the mexican menace, nothing can and you are probably a spawn of Hellary Clinton.


22 Responses to “Mitt Romney: “I am an illegal alien from mexico””

  1. BurgerMeister Says:

    Rev. Hipple,

    Since Rep. Tancredo seems to be on a one-man crusade against all these evil-doers, has he considered leaving the Republican party and forming a new party to run for president? Maybe he could call it the Dominionist Party. That has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

  2. Abdul O'Malley Says:

    It’s been well known for decades that Mexicans have hijacked Mormanism (with its encouragement of multiple wives) in order to speed their breeding processes. It is only natural of them to elect one of their own who will doubtlessly suspend the consistitution and begin the final act of de-Americanization of America.

    Romney spent many years in France, obviously being brainwashed by the socialists and wine drinkers. Romney supporters should ask their candidate where he stands on the one thing that separates our great democracy from the Muslim and Communist dictatorships: The devil’s own Metric System. Therein will lie the proof of his loyalties.

    Thanks again for your good works, brother.

  3. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother BurgerMeister-
    The Republican Party is the Party of Good Christians. Rep. Tom Tancredo is first and foremost a good Christian. What you propose is NOT going to happen. You need more faith that The Republican Party and Good Republicans everywhere will see the Good News, and the Good News is Jesus Our Lord and Rep. Tom Tancredo.

  4. Pete Says:

    I wasn’t sure if you would get this, and so after a few days, I decided I would simply give this to you directly. You posted this on a dear friend of mine’s not long ago in response to a posting she had written: “If you think God is imaginary then you’re going to be in for a heck of a surprise on judgment day!!

    I’ll pray for your Soul but am not sure there is much help for it at this point.”

    Reverend Hipple, I mean no disrespect, but it is that sort of legalistic fundamentalism that is the exact opposite of what Jesus came to Earth and preached. “I don’t think there is much help for [your soul] at this point.” What a load of garbage, and I hope you don’t pray to the Father with words like that. There is absolutely no such thing as someone who is beyond help, for if there was, Jesus would not have died for all.

    You say that you will pray for this girl, but I have a sneaky hunch that you have absolutely no intent to do so in any humility. Your prayer I suspect, if you pray for her at all, will be no better than the Pharisee who says, “Lord, I thank you that I am not like this tax collector.” If you pray for her to see the truth and the light, you might want to see yourself as God sees you, because I can promise you that you are not walking in the truth and the light any more than she is. As Jesus has said, as you intend to pray for the splinter in her eye to be removed, perhaps you should take a moment to take out the plank obstructing yours.

    This girl is already a blood-bought child of God, as am I. Who are you to presume that she is not already part of the Kingdom? Before you start preaching who Jesus is and what He is like, I sincerely suggest that you spend a little time at the foot of the Cross getting to know Him, and not a shiny plastic Jesus bobblehead that nods in agreement with your values and interpretations. Take your arrogant systems, formulas, rituals, and dogmas and sit in your mud puddle. The rest of us will take our holiday at the oceanside with God.

    I apologize that this has nothing to do with the post that I’m leaving a comment for, but when I read your comment, I was defensive and angry already, and when I saw that you have the audacity to put the title of Reverend in front of your name while posting that comment, I was went from angry to utterly disgusted. I don’t mean this as a personal attack.

    I’ve worked hard to develop a humble, intimate relationship with the risen Lord. Through the example of my walk with God, others have been led to faith in Jesus Christ as well. I am not a righteous man, nor upstanding in the eyes of God. I don’t say this because I am trying to give a level of false humility about myself. I just want you to know that I have an intimate, living relationship with Jesus before I tell you what I have to say on your commentaries both to a much loved sister and to the world on your blog.

    I am sickened by the hardness of your heart. I am in awe that you have such a level of self-righteousness that you display. The good book says that we are to reflect the nature of God. I should be astounded that as a man of the cloth, a person who has learning in the Bible, that you have such a lack of grace, but I see so many of your colleagues who have abandoned the Gospel as well, favoring instead a theology of bitterness, fear, and anger. As one who claims to know God, I am astounded at how out of touch with his nature you are.

    As a brother in Jesus Christ, I encourage you to get a grounding in grace, and spend some time at the foot of the cross. You’ve aquired bitterness, not saltiness. The war against the enemy has taken its toll on you, and in your weariness, you’ve been left on the walls.

    God has a message for you, and that it is time to come into the throne room for a season. God will start to take your ministry away, piece by piece. He wants you to Himself for a season, so you can learn how to be part of the bride of Christ, instead of the army of the Lord. It’s time to take yourself down off the walls, and be softened as Esther was. She spent six months with oils and perfumes, six more months with cosmetics. You will need to spend time with the Holy Spirit, being perfumed and softened in love and grace, until your spiritual nature is something that attracts people instead of repels them. You will need to spend time in intense relationship with Jesus, just you, one on one, no ministry, no pouring into other people, just yourself. It will be a time of intense revelation, incredible prayer, and provision of God. This is what God wants to do with you. I encourage you to cooperate.

    It is written that better is open rebuke than hidden love. I hope I have given you both grace and truth here. Through grace, and truth, over time, you will grow, and grow I hope you do.

  5. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother Pete-
    You are wrong. I believe you are referring to an Interweb visitor who claims to be a Good Christian, but who rejects the FACT that the Language of Christianity is American English. No (large) number of words such as you use above can possibly hide the Ignorance of such a position.

    I’m afraid you and your colleague are beyond prayer.

  6. Pete Says:

    If you value American English, perhaps you should take some courses in grammar. Your use of it is absolutely awful, and as a soon-to-be English teacher, you give me inspiration to make sure my students can write. For starters, random capitalization of words simply for emphasis is not grammatical in the least. My freshman English students also have something that you have never apparently learned: how to put together an actual argument. You sit there with a third grade mentality. “Nyah! You’re wrong!” Then you back up yourself with absolutely nothing, supporting your opinion only with another straw man argument.

    Show me, if you insist on calling yourself Reverend, the verse that establishes English, especially American English, as the official language of Heaven. Show me where it ever says that a person is beyond prayer. If you place such titles before your name, I challenge you to establish your authority. I hope that if you tried, you’d see how your authority matches up with that of Jesus Christ, who is my Master. I have no authority, no righteousness of my own. I speak only what the Lord has given to me.

    God’s Word says that you should not seek titles and positions like reverend, pastor, or teacher. Jesus explicitly commands that we do not let people call us those things, or call ourselves them. It is written that Jesus died for all. Scripture itself is written in three languages, Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek. Not a single original manuscript was ever written in English, certainly not American English.

    The Ephesians were rebuked for their lack of grace, despite sound doctrine. Realize that God will oppose you for your arrogance and pride. You can remain as stone and iron, thinking you are standing firm for the Lord, but beware. The Lord is an excellent mason and blacksmith, and He will chisel at you and forge you in fire if that’s what must be done. Those are painful processes. You are never beyond or far from grace, however. There is a bloodied tree with simple food, bread and wine, laid out for you. It is there that grace was shed out for all, and there that I tell you that you should go exchange your pride for humility. I tell you, repent, because you will be meeting the Lord soon. How well that meeting goes will depend on your humility before Him and before men.

    If you need a refresher course is grace, I encourage you to spend some serious time in 1 Corinthians 13. There is some excellent material in there that it sure doesn’t sound like you have read in a while.

  7. Abdul O'Malley Says:

    Lord almighty, with this attitude we are all sure to be speaking Mexican and driving 20 kilograms to purchase a few meters of gasoline for our trucks.

    The Lord put America on the earth to spread freedom and democracy to the entire planet – by force if necessary. If these foreigners are not willing to accept American English as a courtesty for all we are doing for them, then cast them all onto hell. Mitt Romney will have us speaking French for sure, just like his liberal friend and war deserter John Kerry.

  8. Pete Says:

    Oh, good Lord. You have GOT to be kidding me. Now the metric system and foreign languages are evil? What the hell is wrong with you people? First of all, as a person who speaks several languages, English is by far the hardest to learn, and the American forms of it are the worst because of the colloquialisms and regionality of our dialects.

    You claim to spread the word of the Prince of Peace. Don’t ever forget that. Jesus didn’t come to bring a physical kingdom to Earth, He came to bring a spiritual one! Are you so dense that you learned nothing from His disciples, who asked Him the very same question?

    As someone who has seen firsthand the Kingdom of God, you need to get over this notion that the world matters one itty bit. This place is so small, and the worldly matters are so tiny, it’s incredible. The Kingdom of God is eternal, yours is beyond temporary. Get over yourselves and find some humility.

  9. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother Pete-

    One more heretical remark from you and I’ll shut you down. How dare you speak of knowledge ‘firsthand of the Kingdom of God’.

    As for American English being the hardest language to learn, well….duh. Do you really believe God would give his Chosen People an easy language–like mexican??!!!

    How can you Proclaim to be such a great Christian and NOT know that the metric system was created by the French as part of a campaign to undermine The Bible and install science as the ultimate source of Truth?

    On second thought, perhaps we will allow you to continue with your Response Leave privileges so that your Godless Comedic talent will be revealed to others who visit this Ministry.


  10. BurgerMeister Says:

    Rev. Hipple –

    Perhaps you should be more patient with people that don’t have your clarity of thought on these issues. These questions can be difficult to understand.

    For example, if you expect God’s brown children to stay in Mexico, wouldn’t they have to pray to Him in Mexican instead of English? They would never have the chance to learn English in their homeland.

    And if we are to measure things the way God intended in the Bible, shouldn’t we be using “cubits” instead of feet or meters? I’ve searched many Interwebs for one that sells a cubit-based tape measure but never found one.

  11. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother BurgerMeister-

    One cannot find cubit measuring devices for sale anymore because the sale of human forearms (with attached hand and fingers) is considered barbaric in this politically correct culture in which we live.

    When Rep. Tom Tancredo becomes President and rolls back our politically correct laws, maybe you will see more cubit measuring devices for sale.


    ps: FYI, mexican’s pray to the Pope in mexican, who translates it to English for God. This further explains why good (Christian) American’s would have little use for the Catholicism as they can speak and pray directly to God, in a language that God understands.

  12. Brother Yancy Says:

    Brother Pete

    Rev Hipple is a mystical man of God who has the gift of sight, he has visions which he quite rightly preaches to the community at large through the interwebs.

    My Mother taught English for many years and she would probably say the the breaking of grammar rules is a rhetorical device, suited to the Interwebs. I will ask her when she gets up from her nap.

    God Bless

    PS Oh, a lets get a few things straight. God speaks American. And, Jesus is White. Period. Thank you.

  13. BurgerMeister Says:

    Rev. Hipple –

    You’re right of course — human forearms are not readily available for measuring in cubits. I think there is a place in Thailand where forearms can be acquired, but sadly they are not used for measurement. I won’t clog up your Interweb with any more details.

    Speaking of changing the subject . . .

    Have you observed any kind of Divine Intervention in Rep. Tancredo’s favorite baseball team winning their playoff games? The Colorado Rockies easily conquered John McCain’s favorite team, the Arizona Diamondbacks. Could this be a Sign of future conquerings?

  14. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother BurgerMeister-

    I’m sorry but in the area of sports, Our Father only graces me with Visions of football.

    SEC football to be precise.


  15. Pete Says:

    I’m really hoping that’s a joke. If it is, man did you have me going for a bit there, since I didn’t pick up on the sarcasm. If it’s serious, you need some professional counselling.

    The metric system undermines the Bible? I’d love to see how you can justify that Scripturally, since the English system we use is not even close to the original Biblical measurements. How long has it been since you measured your speedometer in cubits per minute? Science is what’s produced the very computer you type on. If you want to ditch science, you need to give up every technological advance you currently posses, including clothing, your home, electricity, any medical things you have, and processed food of any kind (back to fruits and nuts for you, unless you can catch your meats with your bare hands.) That’s just to name a few advances that science has brought about. Since I doubt living nude in a cave eating raw seeds will interfere with your Saturday afternoon football watching, something tells me that you’re not liable to give up all these benefits granted from scientific research all that readily.

    Did God not really choose the nation of Israel as His chosen people? (as it says in the Bible?) Because they spoke Hebrew, not American English. I’d be fascinated to find out that Adam and Eve spoke American English when they were created.

    Mr. Yancy, breaking the traditional rules of Standard English is a rhetorical device in some cases. There are, however, specific ways to break those rules that are rhetorical devices. Random capitalization of words for emphasis is not a not one of those, and you will not find it in any rhetorical textbook. Things like omitting a coordinating conjunction for effect is a rhetorical device. Let’s also not forget that rhetoric is meant to be used orally as well. Speeches are delivered, not written and distributed. Different literary devices apply to text, instead of speech.

    Jesus is white? Please. What was He, the first white guy? Or are you just looking at the picture on your wall? God is American? I wasn’t aware that Adam was the first President, and that Eve’s spiritual designation was “first lady,” and not ezer kenegdo, as the Bible says. Perhaps you could show me that in Genesis? Perhaps you could actually back up a single accusation you’ve made Biblically, if you do indeed profess to follow God?

    In fact, since you proclaim to put Reverend as a title (something that Jesus, white guy or not, said in Scripture (Matthew 28:8-10) specifically NOT to do,) I would expect that you would have enough Scriptural knowledge to school me here. I haven’t seen you support anything you’ve said with one word from the Bible. You’ve given not a verse, not even an allusion to it. I’m starting to think that all you have is from what I like to call the Book of Second Opinions.

    Listen, man. I’ve died and gone there already, and come back. I remember what the Kingdom of Heaven was like. God couldn’t care less about the Republican Party, the use of the metric system, for SEC football over the Big Ten, or what language you speak. Those things, when viewed from Heaven, are so small it would make your head explode. The etnernal perspective on those things is so vastly different from your illusions about them, it blows my mind to think that you call yourself a follower of the Lord unless everything you’ve written is a total satirical joke.

    Hmm, how heretical should I get? SEC football sucks, go Badgers! Listen man, you go ahead and shut me down. Exercise your little worldly control and lust for power, if it makes you feel any better. If you do, please don’t bullshit me with this “brother” stuff. I will not dishonor God by calling you a brother. If you insist on putting a title in front of my name, the only one that I will allow is servant to the Lord. Shut me down? You go right ahead. The time is coming soon when your tongue will be stilled by the Lord Himself. You will be opposed by Him in your pride and arrogance. You will not enter into the inheritance of God’s Kingdom until you show that you have lost your ego.

  16. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Brother Pete-

    You want dripping sarcasm? Try this on for size: In addition to computers, this wonderful science of which you speak also gave us the ‘Theory’ of Evolution.

    To my ear (“I’ve died and gone there already), You sound very much like a dark sided Heretic and Defamer of the Holy Word.

    I have decided to leave your Response Leaves on this Interweb sight so that all who visit will have practice in recognizing the Serpent of the Demon.


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  18. Reason or blasphemy, take you pick. Says:

    The level if ignorance being displayed here is why people consider Christians a hard minded group of people, and Rev Paul, for proclaiming to be a Christian you sure don’t show it. You foster hate in your heart my friend, nothing I, Pete, or even God say or do will ever truly change that if you yourself aren’t willing to do so. I do however want to apologize for my people crossing over to lands that don’t belong to us without first summiting the inhabitants of it to our will with the punishment of exile or even death for those who didn’t submit…manifest destiny I believe you called it. Of course this is an over exaggeration but unfortunately it will be no more so then what will be written in response to this column. That’s what I detest the most, people who make such remarks as, “go back where you came from”, “you don’t belong here”, “you damn spic”. This world was made for all to enjoy, but unfortunately it isn’t so, people have divided up, separated, and segregated themselves from each other and turning something that could be so simple, into something so utterly complex. God does not reject those who come to him, he doesn’t judge us on our appearance, color of skin or heritage, take the hint….

  19. yerr best frend from teh prisin ministress Says:

    did i tell you that yerr greek choir boy style tilaka is cute. yerr almost as cute as mitts. but his 3rd eye is too aleen for me. i like you more.

  20. yerr favurit egiptchin friend, again Says:

    “the American forms of it are the worst because of the colloquialisms and regionality of our dialects”
    you know you could learn much from handling cottonmouths and copperheads.

  21. Jim Bob Says:

    Dear Reverend, I cunt imagin why you did not erace Petes demon talk. He must be one of thos monkies that evilutionists think we come from. I will prey for you today and evry day. God bless.

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