I Have Completed My Prison Ministry

To my Dear Brother and Sister Christian Colleagues-

I deeply apologize for my recent 30 day absence from the Interwebs and, most especially, to my God-fearing colleagues at Team Tancredo, for whom I worked and will continue to work tirelessly until Rep. Tom Tancredo is installed as Leader of Our Wonderful Dominion following his successful election.

It is now a matter of public record that I have completed a 30 day Prison Ministry, where I endeavored to service the souls of the liars and thiefs and thugs and fornicators who populate the Sumter County Jail.

Please don’t listen to those who would have you believe that I was serving a sentence for enticing minors for indecency. As Baby Jesus the Lord is my witness, I entered the jail willingly. Parking down by the levy that night with Mr and Mrs Hanson’s 16 year old daughter and her boyfriend, all faithful members of my Church, with an open bottle of Boone’s Farm wine was all part of the ruse — the only way I could figure to gain admission into the jail so that I could Do the Lord’s Blessings.

I am excited to once again have access to the Interwebs, so I can catch up on the Good Works of Rep. Tom Tancredo as he seeks the Presidency of Our Dominion, and the biding for the Evil Serpent no doubt being done by Dr. Rep. Ron Paul and his perverted Godless minions.


5 Responses to “I Have Completed My Prison Ministry”

  1. Brother WhoDat Glory Pines Ministry Says:

    You must feel so satisfied after ministering to all those fellas in prison. I am sure they really appreciated it as well.


  2. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Yes. I basically Minister to Youth and consequently spend most of my time with youth. So being placed in the jail’s adult wing was something of a new experience for me and broadened my horizons.

  3. Brother Yancy, USN Ret. Says:

    Working with Youth is such a blessing, isn’t it. I had such an uplifting experience at the Footwashing Baptist Boys Camporama (Teen Session) this summer. It was so rewarding to infuse those lads with the benefit of all my experience gained in the Navy.

    Praise be.

  4. teh awesome chuck 'n brinestoned pashtun of the christ Says:

    “Parking down by the levy that night ”
    didn’t i wern you you’d see a hell of no good by hanging near teh jews!! stay away from the levy!!

  5. king of the juice Says:

    I’ve been researching Hipple for five minutes and have discovered that he’s somekind of rascist sex pervert. Calling the President a terrorist is a bit over the line, don’t you think?

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