Archive for October, 2007

Welcome Jeffrey Dahmer, New Christian Intelligent Design Spokesman

October 29, 2007

It is with great Joy that I spread the Lord’s Living Gospel through the Interweb!

Today is one of those days that really makes it worthwhile.

Not only did we find out Today that Rep. Tom Tancredo will continue his Presidential Candidate Ministry, but we also find out that a certain someone is also Spreading the Lord’s Gospel.

And that Certain Someone is none other than Jeffrey Dahmer, convicted murderer of 17 people, most of whom he ate! The Creation Science Evangelism Interweb has now hired Cannibal Dahmer to be their official Spokescannibal. Spokescannibal Dahmer is spending out the rest of his years Witnessing for the Lord, and specifically, telling the World that his murderous cannibalism was entirely his fault, except that part that caused him to murder because of His former Belief in Evolution:

In the interview Dahmer acknowledges that he once believed in the evolution theory which “cheapens life”. He went on to testify to the Lord Jesus Christ being the true Creator and accepting Him as his Savior.

Like Dahmer, many today are being influenced by the cheapening of life promoted by the evolution theory. Racism, communism, nazism and anarchy are all effects of this dangerous theory. Even the killers in the Columbine school massacre wore shirts that blared, “Natural Selection”. Evolution is a perilous religion with fatal societal consequences. For more on the effects of evolution view our Dangers of Evolution DVD.

There is hope; the Bible teaches us that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made“. Creation Science Evangelism exists to teach the unfathomable truths of our Creator which bring about life change. Help us in reaching this new generation, infiltrated by evolution and death propaganda, with the message of life that comes from the creation message. Help us make a difference today.

Praise the Lord for moving Cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer’s heart to admit how Evilution can turn a normal, healthy, responsible boy into a Vicious Cannibalistic Murderer!

Interwebs abuzz!!! Rep. Tom Tancredo “the real deal.”

October 29, 2007

During my night time visions last night, the Lord appeared unto Me to Reveal that Rep. Tom Tancredo will pass on an opportunity to run again for the U.S. House of Representatives, so that he can throw all of his God-Given energy into his Presidential campaign.

Today, the Interwebs are discussing nothing else, because the announcement Proves Rep. Tom Tancredo’s invinsibility!!!

Rep. Tom Tancredo should easily win the Presidency, because he is the ONLY candidate remaining in the field who is both Tough on Illegal Alien Immigrants, and a Proper Christian, and who will Fight the Terrorists over there so we won’t have to fight them Here.

Praise the Lord for giving us Rep. Tom Tancredo!!  Let’s hope that we can properly thank him for his years of dedicated professional service, perhaps by giving him a Congressional Medal of Honor!!

Dr. Rep. Ron Paul is the Republican candidate of choice for three of the 10 known Negro Republican Voters!!!!!

October 24, 2007

Dr. Rep. Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul continues to make great strides in his campaign (official slogan: “If we don’t win the White House, we’ll attack the Dakota’s from our Manitoba sanctuary!”) for President and Fearless Leader of Our Dominion.

generalissimo-paul2.jpg

A recent extremely careful analysis of polling data by an eager Paulbot with exceptional expertise at plotting probability density functions has yielded the stunning insight that Dr. Rep. Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul is the preferred candidate for the 10 known Negroes in the United States who actually vote Republican.

Rep. Tom Tancredo, the leading Republican Candidate of legal, unbrown, American Citizen Voters was so concerned by this Revelation that he issued a Press Release which said, in part, “I’m sorry, but who is Ron Paul?”

And that is EXACTLY what the 10 Republican Negro voters also appear to be asking, because the analysis indicates that the three Negro voters who plan to vote for Dr. Rep. Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul  don’t appear to have ever heard of him either.

Sappy, stupid, liberal propaganda on US rendition and torture program

October 23, 2007

One of the ministries that we offer at 1st Dominion Ministries is a series of ‘How to Spot the Demon’ forums, to educate the Good and Faithful Christians (Republicans) on the wily ways of the Dark-sided world in which we live.

Having lassoed the Mainstream Media since media was first discovered, Liberals are experts at using mass media as a vehicle for propaganda to spread their traitorous lies, a Godless Way of Life, and Gay Homosexual perversity.

Below I’ve posted a brief video that is replete with typical Liberal Treachery and Perversity and Perversions of all sorts, and so it is a good tool for instruction. At first it looks like an entertaining piece of work on how successfully President Gov. George W. Bush has been at extracting information from Known Muslim Terrorists, saving countless millions of American Lives from Acts of Islamic Horror.

But as it continues, watch how it degrades very subtly into tear jerking liberal bellyaching. The big tipoff that this is little more than a Leftist communist work of propaganda is that it “stars” two very well known al-Qaeda terrorists they want you to sympathize with. But you can tell these are really actors because One is unbelievably well-spoken in American English, to the point he is actually understandable, whereas the other is far too well groomed and thoughtful to be a Muslim.

Notice also how he has blue eyes!!! LOL!! Ha! A blue-eyed Muslim!! They must think we are stupid. ROFL!!!

warnings: extremely long and boring, not safe for children or women, use of foreign languages–possibly including muslim

Dr. Rep. Ron Paul permanently banned from Interwebs as terrorist threat

October 23, 2007

In an unusual move, key but delusional supporters of the Interweb-based holographic image and Presidential dictator-aspirant Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul have been permanently banned from the Interwebs.

Apparently, these supporters–who are known as Paulbots in key, highly classified national security agency circles–have finally gone too far, resulting in the Interweb giving them a stiff and unmistakable warning of the nature of their threat:
“We’re upset that you’ve discovered where we keep the black helicopters, so we’re silencing you in an attempt to keep you from warning the rest of your brethren so we can round you all up and send you to re-education camps all at once.”

Rep. Tom Tancredo fully supports this disciplinary move.

In my night time vision, God has Revealed through His Infinite Knowledge that Rep. Tom and his Close circle of advisers are currently working up a proposal to mine NSA datebases for evidence of Paulbot activities, and then to then to rendition them from their mommies and daddies into comfortable quarters where they will be treated humanely NOT be subjected to torture until we get the answers we are looking for.

Rep. Tom Tancredo welcomes support from Uflarks but don’t expect any favors

October 22, 2007

Uflarkistan is a foreign country populated mostly by foreigners and; one with considerable strategic value since it is an exporter of important consumer products.

These Uflark foreigners now look like they are throwing their support behind Rep. Tom Tancredo.

Good for them.  I assume this ‘Uflark’s for Tancredo” is not someone’s idea of a sick joke–although it looks like it would be something one of those Dr. Rep. Ron Paulbots would perpetrate–what with their Affinity for Cultural Mongrelization and what not.

But if this is not some sick joke, it is important to consider this: Rep. Tom Tancredo does not discriminate on the basis of creed or race…he will close Our Borders to all brown people, irrespective of whether they are from mexico or from Uflarkistan.  When Rep. Tom Tancredo becomes President, he will hunt down foreigners regardless of race, creed or country of origin or whether or not they assisted him in becoming elected.

That harlot, Florida Rep. Katherine Harris, joins the republican race

October 19, 2007

After finally dispensing with Sen. Sam Brownback, Rep. Tom Tancredo looks like he’ll need to face another stiff challenger in the form of that harlot tramp from Florida, Rep. Katherine Harris.

katherineharrisholdspossum.jpg

Wearing thin, revealing sweaters to accentuate her large bust and short skirts that highlight her trim waist won’t be sufficient, on the national stage, to distract Republican (Christian) voters from remembering that she has done next to nothing in her political career, marked only by the singular accomplishment of making sure President Gov. George W. Bush was re-elected President over the Bagel crunching hippie candidate Vice President Sen. Al Gore.

Welcome to the fight you spawn of the Harlot tramp of Sodom! Rep. Tom Tancredo will deal with you as if you are nothing more than political road kill: Deep fried with mayo on the side.

Sen. Sam Brownback drops from campaign

October 18, 2007

God also revealed to me in my night time visions that Sen. Sam Brownback will drop from the campaign and throw the weight of his entire organization behind the candidacy of Rep. Tom Tancredo because, “He is the Only Candidate who can Save our Dominion!.”

All praise to the good Brothers and Sisters at the Republican Faith Ministries (formally BaptistsforBrownback2008) Interblog were the first to Foresee this Prophecy.

ding-dong.jpg

Dr. Rep. Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul plans to orchestrate grass roots military-backed coup

October 18, 2007

With a heavy, heavy, heart I bring you the Darkest possible news with my burden lightened only because I know that God made His Son Jesus suffer far worse than what pain I now bear.

Just before bedtime last night, I witnessed two disturbing Interblog reports here and here, from some of the best Interbloggers in the business, reporting that the ‘military supports Rep. Ron Paul‘ and more so than any other candidate.

What is disturbing about these reports is that it turns the political ecology completely upside down, since we have been taught from the time we suckled upon our mother’s teats that we must judge our Republican (Christian) Presidential candidates by how much they support the military, not vice versa!?!?

In my night visions last night, God Appeared and Revealed to me to provide clarification.   He said that the biggest threat facing Our Dominion in the Earliest Days of the Rep. Tom Tancredo Presidency will not be Illegal Immigrants and  roaming packs of mexican rape squads, or sleeper cells of al-Qaeda operatives hiding in our closets and under our beds….although God made it abundantly clear these were still Very Big threats to our Dominion.

I was stunned by this Revelation because I can’t think of anything more horrible, other than possibly Hugo Chavez playing a significant role in United States political theater.

But God calmed me with His Peace and Love and continued saying, “Rev. Paul, the biggest threat is Dr. Rep. Ron Paul, who’s fundraising activities prove he is in the early stages of leading a consolidating grassroots support so that he can lead a military backed coup of the Tancredo Administration in its first 100 days.”

Oh, the Depravity of the Demon Serpent!!

“And, ” God continued, “Dr. Rep. Generalissimo Ronaldo Paul fully plans to invite Hugo Chavez to serve as his Vice-Generalissimo.”

Proof that Dr. Rep. Ron Paul is actually a HOLOGRAPHIC image: His Virtual Campaign is Beholden to Interweb Special Interest

October 17, 2007

Dr. Rep. Ron Paul has had a remarkable and unexpected impact on the 2008 precampaign campaign.

He’s raised billions of dollars from every state in the Dominion (except from God-fearing Christian (Republican) states whose people are wise to his deceptions and trickery) which our Sources tell us will be used to purchase Manitoba from the Central Canadian Government.

A remarkable feature of the Dr. Rep. Ron Paul campaign that continues to confound Political Experts is that it is almost Entirely Internet-based–the First Exclusively Virtual Campaigner ever. For in point of fact, Nobody has ever seen Dr. Rep. Ron Paul in real life. His only appearances Ever have been on the Interwebs, except for this one purported image of him taken as a young school boy.

Purported Image of Dr. Rep. Ron Paul as a school boy

In recent news today, Dr. Rep. Ron Paul proves he is not only a Creation of the Interwebs, but also their pawn when he was overheard saying, “We will NOT tax the internets. I have no plans of doing that, and I will instead work tirelessly to continue to impose burdensome taxes on the middle class, the rich and the poor except for illegal aliens–especially mexicans–who will be the recipients of tax revenue under my administration.” quote sources
Political analysts are harmonious in their agreement that these words indicate Dr. Rep. Ron Paul is being carefully manipulated by Interweb-based special interest groups, most likely foreign in nature including, but not limited to

I got to thinking about these issues before praying to Our Lord during noontime supper. I proceeded to fall off the chair, and I am told, “flop around on the floor like a noodled catfish.”

The Lord then came to me in my first ever noon time Vision to Reveal that Dr. Rep. Ron Paul is NOT real, but is actually EXACTLY virtual in every way: He is in fact an Internet-based Holographic Image.

Incredulous, I asked God if Dr. Rep. Ron Paul was a Spirit but he said, “Nope, just a damned computer image. That’s all. The Interweb created him for one reason only: It is a scared of being taxed. Especially if a Demoncrat like Hellary is elected.”

And here we thought only the Lord worked in mysterious ways….


%d bloggers like this: