Tucker Carlson is Not A Gay Homosexual

The veritable outbreak we are experiencing in this time of perversity, perversion, sodomy and public acts of indecency and fornication are all a sure sign of the impending Rapture, and so those of us who have welcomed the Lord Jesus Christ into our personal Hearts as Our Savior can mostly sit back in the Confidence that we will soon experience Eternal Joy.

Nevertheless, there have also been too many recent unfortunate acts of sodomization and homosexual mongrelization among former Brothers in Christ and other Christian Republicans, that tears of acid are streaming down the face of the Child Jesus and destroying his beautiful, child-like manly features in a horrible way, and these incidents also serve to whither the Blessed heart of any True Christian.

And so, it is with tremendous relief to discover that Tucker Carlson, the effeminate MSNBC journalist and commentator who wears suspiciously gay homosexual outfits, has come out of the closet to publicly admit that he is in fact NOT A GAY HOMOSEXUAL and, in fact, has personally and with a best buddy forever named Brad together bashed the head of a gay homosexual against a the stall of a public bathroom just to teach him a lesson.  As words alone are not sufficient these days, this act of justice is very strong evidence that Tucker Carlson is not a gay homosexual.

Brother Tucker Carlson provides us a great lesson for how we Christians can take an active roll in returning our public restrooms to the Cause of Christ.  For our sons, we need to take back these restrooms from the creepy Gay Homosexuals who use them as Dens of Sodomitic Iniquity.

I’m sure Rep. Tom Tancredo will add this to his platform just as soon as he hears about it.


4 Responses to “Tucker Carlson is Not A Gay Homosexual”

  1. Jake Says:

    Rev. Nipple,

    What should Rep. Tom do about Senator Larry Craig, the Gay Homosexual?

    I love Jesus,

  2. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    Of course, Rep. Tom Tancredo abhors the sin but not necessarily the sinner, especially if the latter is a staunch Republican Christian.

    And besides, Sen. Larry Craig denies that he is a gay homosexual and there is absolutely no evidence whatsoever that proves otherwise. Sen. Larry Craig was about to bash that undercover policeman’s head, the one pretending to be a gay homosexual, into the bathroom stall, but stopped himself just in time when he realized he was a policeman. Sen. Larry Craig has one of the Senate’s best voting records of all time on policemen.

    Rep. Tom Tancredo is appalled that Gov. Mitt Romney has jettisoned Sen. Larry Craig from his campaign, leaving him to twist in the wind without a job in the most important Presidential Election Ever in this Dominion. Rep. Tom Tancredo believes that Mitt Romney’s actions says a lot about his lack of character.

  3. Hipple is a *unChristian word* Says:

    Of course Larry Craig has a great voting record on policemen, he wants to suck their cocks in a men’s restroom. So are you saying that being a gay homosexual soliciting illegal sexual encounters is fine if you are a staunch Republican Christian?

    Also, what proof do you have that Senator Craig was going to bash the head of an undercover policeman? You must have been in the bathroom stall hoping to get anally reamed by a fireman.

    You are an unbelievable douche for being in such denial. Your staunch Conservative Republicans like Ted Haggard are gay homosexuals!!!

    Is this a comedy interweb? By the way, isn’t gay homosexual a bit redundant?

  4. Hipple, Rev. Paul T. Says:

    The term Gay homosexual is not at all redundant.

    A Gay homosexual embraces the homosexual lifestyle while pushing Jesus Christ The Savior out of their lifestyle. Rather than Proclaim Him with a “Jesus Saves!” bumper sticker, they adorn their cars with the Rainbow Colors, dress and act effeminately, etc and so forth. Things like that. One ‘knows’ a Gay Homosexual when they see one.

    Senator Larry Craig was tempted by the Demon, and therefore is Not a Gay Homosexual, and probably not even a Homosexual. Acting in the disguise of the undercover Policeman, The Dark Demon Satan tried to lure this Good Christian man and Republican to commit a homosexual act of perversion and perversity. In the end, he did not commit a sin because at the last minute because Sen. Larry Craig realized it was the Demon’s Temptation and the Will of the Dark Beast.

    This sort of Power of Self-recognition is unique to Christian Republicans and is a product of a lifetime of Prayer and Doing Good Acts.

    For myself, I understand these matters at a deeper level through my Night time Visions, when God the Father and His Holy Spirit speak to me directly.

    If you are not a person of Prayer, I don’t expect that you can understand these things.

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