My Dear Communicants!
We have prayed so hard over the years, beseeching our Lord to send someone who will put a stop to so, so many things that mongrelize the Culture of Our Dominion.
And God sent us Rep. Tom Tancredo. Praise to Him!!!
And we said, “God, Rep. Tom Tancredo is doing such a superb job, even the good but criminally misguided brothers and sisters at Baptists for Brownback 2008 are afeared that he will pull votes away from their hopelessly criminal and misogynizing candidate.”
Now, God sent us Ben Stein, who was once a lieberal elitist from the pagan culture of Hollyweird, but who’s soul is now resurrected though YOUR prayer and Holy Diligence.
Now, Mr Stein, clearly operating under the Glory of God, has created a new movie in which he exposes Under the Most Intense Lumens of God’s Light all the secular progressive humanist college professor darwinists, who seek to shove their “theories” of ape-like men down the throats of our children, violently choking them until they submit to a godless culture of depravity. In this movie, Ben Stein will stand up and put an end to a culture that mocks our Good Christian Heritage, and those the Heritage of our Great Country!! Finally, we have someon who is savvy and intelligent working on the Side of Our Lord.
Thank the Lord today for sending Ben Stein, and Praise to Him for forgiving Ben Stein’s many sins and Transgressions.
Dominionists for Tancredo 
August 23, 2007 at 10:04 am |
Isn’t is possible that Mr. Stein is actually doing Satan’s work, and his “movie” is just a stunt because Mr. Stein is only worshipping The Almight Dollar, instead of The Lord Almighty as he should?
August 23, 2007 at 11:20 am |
The ‘Almighty’ Dollar is, indeed, a gift from God.
Why in the world else would it have “In God We Trust” written in plain Christian English??!?!?!?!
Maybe you are mistaken and talking about Euro’s, which I will agree are little more than tools of the Dark Beast.
Let me tell you this: The first time you see a Euro whipped out to pay for a Wendy’s Extra Value meal in Our Country, you might as well make your preparation for the Second Coming. Because the apocalypse will NOT be far behind.
August 23, 2007 at 12:14 pm |
Amen to your prayers Reverand Hipple! However, I am concerned about your “shout-out to Wendy’s as the kids today say. I have had to avert mine eyes from the Television screen recently because teh Homosexual conspiracy has even gotten to Wendys, I am sorry to say. Despite our prayers, God has seen fit to allow a man to dress up as a women to do SATAN’S work to sell hamburgers.
Please pray to Our Lord ands Saviour for a vision of which Fast Food places we can go and feel we are eating For The Lord’s Work.
Praise Jesus, I’ll habg up and listen for my answer.
August 23, 2007 at 1:21 pm |
I believe you are the Serpent Demon, “preacher” j-dog, who is here to tempt me from MY SAVIOR, the Lord, God and Jesus of Christ.
I got my divinity degree fast, only took about 8 days, start to finish, by mail. Even with the rumored speed of the interwebs, I don’t believe you could completely convert from your secular progressive tendencies AND get a preacher diploma in just a couple of hours.
I have asked for emergency prayers for your soul from the good but criminally misguided people at Baptists for Brownback, which is almost certainly already damned, though it is not for me to say.
Luke 4:8, “Worship the Lord your God and answer him only.”
August 23, 2007 at 3:02 pm |
Praise Jesus for the Miracle Reverend! He came to me and annointed me.
*content edited as not in the spirit of a truly loving Christian value system*
August 23, 2007 at 3:52 pm |
Somebody rattled our chains?
Rev. Paul T., I could use an emergency prayer myself.
I’m too ashamed to admit this to my family and friends, but I committed some most grievous sins this past week.
Beginning on Sunday, I woke up to find myself being led astray by my Lover, Kate. I didn’t want to sin, but it felt so good I couldn’t help myself.
*edited: inappropriate admissions of fornications and perversions of an exceptional nature, none of which are in the spirit of the Christ*
August 23, 2007 at 7:19 pm |
JanieBelle- I pray that the Lord will show you the Light and Provide you means to acquire, if you have not done so already, antibiotic treatments of such a strong nature to be sufficient to suppress the venereal diseases and infestations that almost certainly wrack your perverted body and mind.
August 23, 2007 at 7:21 pm |
Forgive me, I didn’t think it was terribly explicit. My apologies.
*edit: sinful and impure words causing acid tears to flow down the face of baby Jesus*
I’m sort of new to this, you’ll have to excuse me if I don’t get all the details right.
August 23, 2007 at 7:21 pm |
*edit: unnecessary puff*
Very Christian of you, thanks.