Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain’s proposed booty rules to combat Chinese hegemony


truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain describing ideal booty width to height ratios in a speech on how to outbreed the chinamen

In a major foreign policy speech delivered yesterday entirely without the aid of teleprompters, truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain for the first time revealed elements of his plans to deal with growing threats to the sanctity of our Dominion posed by the China menace.

Speeching before a spell-bound audience of unRacist Conservative Christian voters, truck stop Pizza Mogul said that “Anybody with common sense can understand that all we need to do to beat the Chinamen is to outgrow them.  Along with developing a greater nuclear weapon arsenal since they look to have some interest in acquiring nuclear weapons themselves.”

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain then went on, presenting an outline of his Proposals to deal with the Chinamen threat.

The first element of the plan is to grow the economy to a level that matches the chinaman economy, from 1.5 to 6.5.  This is an obvious and not a particularly new solution, except for the fact that it seems to have completely escaped the attention of the current administration that is destroying our economy with taxes and a smothering regulatory burden, headed by the elitist Usurper Kenyan and his Keynesian Kaliphate.

The second element of the plan is more bold and audacious and involves a two pronged approach to outgrow the chinaman population.

The first approach involves an airtight ban on the murdering of little baby unborn boys and girls that now goes on in our state-sponsored Planned Parenthood abortion mills.  Nobody ever saw a rancher grow his herd by murdering all of his unborn baby boy and girl calves, so it don’t make no sense to do it to our human progenies either!?!?!  NO MORE ABORTION UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES because it is the Loving Christian thing to do, and because we are going to need all the progeny we can muster to defeat the chinaman.

The second approach is more t ambitious, but reveals the sort of completely fresh way of looking at difficult proplems that Conservative Christian voters are growing to admire about the token renegade negro.

Truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain calls it his Billion Baby Booty (BBB) solution:

“Right now, there is about 1 billion more chinamen then there is US Americans.  If we stop killing 500 million unborn baby boys and girls each year while simply doubling the number of unborn baby girls and boys that we set about to make, we’ll have caught up to the chinamen.  We can do it in one year!  What I learned running truck stop pizza shops is the way you sell more pizza is to stop throwing away half the pizzas you cook, and then cook twice as many more!  Common sense!”

When asked by narrow-minded liberal MSM reporters how he would convince more women to get pregnant, truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain had this to say:

“Our women, frankly, need to become more attractive to better provoke their men into the Relations Desire.  It is a scientific fact that we don’t produce enough US American babies these days because menfolk are tired after the come home from their hard jobs, and they become uninterested in sharing their seed with the womenfolk, especially if the womenfolk don’t have the Bedroom Eyes.  In part, this has to do with the scientific fact that our women folk need to be a lot more attractive for our menfolk.

My administration will derive new regulations for female attractiveness standards; things like weight, hairdo, makeup and dress standards.  For example, (holding his hands apart less then chest width) our regulations will call for a booty sizes no larger than just so, and will require women to hold special permits to have booty sizes just this big (holding his arms outstretched).  But these are not hard and fast rules (laughs), no pun intended. Although I don’t personally like mine too large, we understand that men differ in their Booty Predilections, and they will be able to obtain waiver affidavits if they prefer larger bitches, on a case-by-case basis.”

Responding to concerns about the effect of new job-killing regulations on the economy, truck stop Pizza Mogul indicated for every new job-killing regulation his administration imposes as part of the Billion Baby Booty campaign, they would roll back other regulations in compensation:

“For example, we would enact a federal ban of adultery laws on the basis of national emergency.  If we hope to catch up with the chinamen, we can’t have our menfolk who are doing their part by getting a little strange on the side to be worried that their wives back home might sue them for adultery.  Again, this is something that just makes common sense.”

Indeed, it does.

Although there is much to like about these Conservative Christian common sense solutions that truck stop Pizza Mogul Herman Cain proposes, his candidacy still poses major problems for the Dominionist Party.  Most significant among these is his Heritage Problem.

Still, WE ARE NOT RACISTS and there is nothing to stop a Rep Tom Tancredo administration from adopting some of these solutions, whether or not credit is owed to truck stop Pizza Mogul for having the idea in the first place.

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